Sunday, May 23, 2010

Pregnancy and It's Many Wonders

Pregnancy. What a gift. What a miracle. What an amazing, overwhelming, awe-inspiring privilege. It is truly a fulfillment of my destiny.
However, sometimes, in order to fulfill a destiny, a calling, and a dream, one must experience many pains, climb obstacles and discover many discomforts. I would like to take this opportunity to vent verbalize some of these challenges.

First, there is the wonder and amazement I feel when I find out I'm pregnant, which then leads to the "Oh dear Lord, are you sure this is a good idea?!" - having one, two, or in this case, three other children all five years old and under. As well as feeling the "didn't I just have a baby?" feeling and my body having not quite returned to the pre-baby-machine state.

Second, there is the abhorrence of all things healthy and nutritious - in fact, pretty much all food other than french fries, bread or chocolate are quite a disturbing thought. Along with this feeling is of coarse the nausea that is all consuming MOST of the day. This usually lasts about 40-50 days.
My family is *overjoyed* at this new found attitude that comes with my nauseated, unhealthy, gagging nature.

Third, the emotional roller-coaster that ensues is exactly that. One moment I am fine and dandy, the next moment I am weeping into my ginger and lemon tea, the next moment I am laughing to tears for no apparent reason. *sigh* It can be very exhausting! Here again, the family stare at me in utter perplexity... Jason is now quite familiar with these perplexities that come from his pregnant wife, and usually takes full advantage by telling me his best any jokes, because at this point everything is gut wrenching hilarious. I have a LOT of laughing fits when I am pregnant.

Fourth, after the loss of around six pounds from the first trimester's nausea, I then commence in packing on carb, sugar, and fat-laden pounds because my will-power at this point is completely... MIA.

Fifth, the result then of number four, is the revelation and then fulfillment that I probably am not going to enjoy wearing the terrible, terrible maternity pants that I have worn now for three other pregnancies. My thighs and posterior seem to be growing at a faster and more thorough rate than my uterus. In fact, I now must deal with self-loathing because of my lack of self-control, along with the loathing of my maternity clothing. Why, oh why, are maternity pants so ridiculous: I usually end up mooning my husband when I try to get out of the van because they have slipped so far down, therefore I must hike them up in their proper place when I step out of the vehicle - hoping there are no innocent bystanders beholding this process. But this happens not just when I get out of the van, but when I bend over, when I sit, when I walk... Hike'em up, hike 'em up. I could go on on the subject of maternity wear, but I shall not.

Sixth, three words: round ligament pain. I don't know of any other women who complain of this, so perhaps I am just "special", but I have terrible ligament/groin/pelvis pain - this pregnancy is the worst I have experienced. Rolling over in bed takes me at least a minute as I have to do it slowly and figure out how to lift one side up in order for the other side to roll without experiencing further pain...? or something. Getting OUT of bed, ha! well, picture a very old woman with acute hip and back pain struggling to get out of her chair - that's what I look like. The running joke between my husband and I is that "this old grey mare, ain't what she used to be". And just to help you with the picture, my son has dramatically depicted me in the following video. The sad part: it's rather an accurate portrayal.

Seventh, constant blood tests, or as I like to call myself, the human pin-cushion.

Eighth, Varicose veins in some of the most inappropriate of places.

Ninth, thinking you are thin enough to pass through a certain pathway, only to get lodged between said pathway.

Tenth, all my maternity shirts have stains of some kind on the most potruding part of my tummy - said tummy seems to find itself where I least expect it (mixing bowls, counter tops, my plate, my kids' messy faces, etc.).

Eleventh, being unable to put any type of clothing on the lower half of my body without having to sit down, hold onto something or deciding to just forget certain article.

Twelfth (I actually had to look up the spelling on this - how appropriate), my brain seems to have decided to take a leisurely vacation. I find myself forgetting the most obvious of details, words and jumbling my sentences. And I will add clumsiness to this one, because it seems to be linked to the absence of brain-power.

Perhaps, I should stop there. We all have our own stories, aches and pains and some of the people reading this have far worse ones than mine are.
Hopefully I have not offended anyone with this blog post, but actually made you smile, if not chuckle, because I really just needed to vent and you being my "girlfriends" at this season of my life get to hear/read it.

And surely you know, I would do it (become pregnant) over and over again (oh wait, I have!), for the rewards of pregnancy far outweigh the challenges. Nor do I want to convey that I am taking this privilege for granted in any way.

Oh, and just so you know and aren't thinking I am a horrid mother - I do eat healthy, nutritious foods when I am pregnant!! I just don't want to. :)

Blessing, hugs, and thanks for reading,


  1. Steph, I've said it before and I'll say it again, "You're my hero!" and I love you! :)

  2. Steph, this beautiful post made me laugh, and cry, it brought memories of the same pregnancy trials............ but oh the joy that I have from those most precious of people given to me by Yahweh.. Thank you for sharing this with us.......I adore you my BEAUTIFUL one. MOM

  3. Thank you dear ones. :) Love love you

  4. I was laughing out loud and trying not to visualize you mooning your husband!!!


    And I am also one of the "special" ones I guess, because I had the WORST pelvic pain during this last pregnancy... maybe it has to do with it being the fourth one?! I had to wear a back brace down around my hips (not fun when trying to get to the toilet quickly!) and soak in a hot tub every night!

    Oh my head!
    But now it's just a memory and I'm thankful for that.
    Bless you!
    Bless this birth!
    Bless this baby!