tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36583070642790030152024-03-12T18:16:29.125-07:00Bloom and Growbut let your adorning
be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4 Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-27439464750357623912015-06-25T23:20:00.000-07:002015-06-26T10:31:38.797-07:00The VoiceSometimes I just have to sit down and type something, it's a lot like an itch that must be scratched. There is also a bit of freedom in knowing that hardly anyone reads my blog so really, I could write whatever I wanted and no one would know, and yet it's out there in a vast cyber-space with millions of other peoples thoughts and words. Humph.<br />
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Isn't it almost absurd how many people have their own blog and can tell us so many things based on their own convictions/agenda/religon/politics/filters/childhood/.... I have read so many different blog posts by other mom's just like myself telling me how I should get my child to sleep at night, when to breastfeed or not to breastfeed, discipline my child or not discipline my child, or not let them watch too much TV, or let them play video games, or not let them play video games, or what to feed them, or what not to feed them all based on their own convictions and beliefs and experiences. The amount of information we have access to these days is astounding and mind-numbing, isn't it? Along with overwhelming and confusing.<br />
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Like right now in my life I'm desperately trying to figure out what to do with our own homeschool here in the Ward household. (sigh) I sigh because I am; 1. not an intellect with the fore-knowledge of a prophet who can conclude what each of my children need in the future and present scholastically, and 2. there is just WAY too many opinions and curriculum out there that I almost want to set fire to my computer and gouge my eyes out or just move my whole family to India and help feed, water and clothe the poor and needy and call that "learned".<br />
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I don't need any of these voices that are SO loud and constantly making themselves heard. I don't NEED them. Yet I find myself constantly turning to the internet and looking up what other moms are doing; how do they teach, discipline, feed, channel, clothe, form... their children. I enjoy seeing what others do, yet I'm not sure it actually helps ME and my children. Or does it? I can't decide.<br />
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I think if we're being honest the real reason we search the web and find out what others are doing in a matter that concerns us or to see what someone thinks of something is because ultimately we desire to succeed in who we are and what we're about and we're hoping to find the answer, the 'quick fix', the key to fulfilling that desire. (Much like my weight issues...).<br />
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In the deep recesses of my heart and soul I know there really is only one Person that I want to hear from. Know what He thinks and follow. There really is only One true source of input I need and only One I should put any 'stock' into. And only One whom I should be imitating and giving my children as an established opinion or way. He has already established a Way to follow and path to walk and a life to live. He established it in His Torah (Bible) and really that should be my plumb-line and foundation and the voice I hear in my head on a moment-by-moment basis.<br />
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Yahweh help me to pursue Your voice and write Your words on my heart that I might not sin against You or turn aside to the left or the right in my pursuit of life. The voices around us these days are so very loud and persistently trying to draw my heart from the ultimate Voice. Clarify my thoughts that only You are heard and help me to establish YOU and Your voice in our home.<br />
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<span style="background-color: #fce5cd;">Deuteronomy 11:<span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">13 </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">`And it hath been -- <b>if thou hearken diligently unto My commands </b>which I am commanding you to-day,<b> to love Yehovah your God, and to serve Him with all your heart, and with all your soul --</b></span></span><br />
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<span class="text Deut-11-14" id="en-YLT-5223" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">14 </span>that I have given the rain of your land in its season -- sprinkling and gathered -- and thou hast gathered thy corn, and thy new wine, and thine oil,</span></div>
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<span class="text Deut-11-15" id="en-YLT-5224" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">15 </span>and I have given herbs in thy field for thy cattle, and thou hast eaten, and been satisfied.</span></div>
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<span class="text Deut-11-16" id="en-YLT-5225" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">16 </span>`<b>Take heed</b> to yourselves, <b>lest your heart be enticed</b>, and ye have turned aside, and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them,</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Joshua 22:5 Only, <b>be very watchful</b> to do the command and the law which Moses, servant of Yehovah, commanded you, to love Yehovah <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</span> God, and to <b>walk <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">all</span> His <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">ways</span>, and to keep His commands, and to cleave to Him, and to serve Him, with <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">all</span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</span> heart, and with <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">all</span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</span> soul.'</b></span></div>
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<a class="bible-item-title" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Kings+2:3&version=CJB" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #b34b2c; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; color: black;">1 Kings 2:3</span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">Observe the charge of <i style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant: small-caps;">Adonai</span></i> <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</span> God to go <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span> his <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">ways</span> and keep his regulations, <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">mitzvot</i>, rulings and <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span>structions <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span> accordance with what is written <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span> the <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">Torah</i> of Moshe; <b>so that you will succeed <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">in</span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">all</span> you do and wherever you go.</b></span></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<a class="bible-item-title" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3:6&version=CJB" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #b34b2c; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Proverbs 3:6</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #cfe2f3;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box;">In</b> <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">all</b> <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</b> <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">ways</b> acknowledge him; then he will level <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">your</b> paths.</span></div>
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<br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-55077626790609309742015-03-04T23:24:00.001-08:002015-03-04T23:24:37.186-08:00I Find Myself<br />
I find myself overwhelmed.... every. day. I know this is the product of over-tasking and over-thinking and over-stimulation, and overemphasizing the small stuff, but mostly I have come to the conclusion that it is mostly because I have this internal perfective (not sure that is a word) instinct to control every situation, as relates to my own home/family/children.<br />
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I find myself in this soulish-controversy to want my children to be courageously themselves and then trying to make them who I think they should be, or train them to be good, perfect people.<br />
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I find myself wandering around my house, muttering about the state of constant disaster as I try to perfect my surroundings with picking up every little thing and tidying and scrubbing - mostly just following my 17 month old's wake of disastrous exploration - and I discontentedly wonder why no one else seems to care?<br />
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Then, I find myself in the small space of time that I do have to myself, at night, usually when I lay my head on the pillow, but often when I am prepping for tomorrow's lesson, or lunch making or sitting down at the computer to write someone back - the lack of demanding people in that moment of <i>quiet</i> startles me into revelation sometimes. Which clearly, is the Ruach Ha Kodesh (Holy Spirit), giving me the chance to listen for a moment, He glimmers at my soul with the hopes of tomorrow. You know what I mean?<br />
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I can see in that moment that everyday is a gift that I find I am forgetting to really <i>open</i>.<br />
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I hate the dichotomy of me; wanting to do everything right and feeling like I can't do anything right.... mostly.<br />
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I find myself realizing that all these struggles I'm having with myself - my home, my kids, my thoughts, my whatever... is because I'm finding MYSELF! and not finding Him. I'm trying to do it all within myself, my own ability, my own strength, my own way. No wonder I feel like the failure of the year. Because I just can't do this well, on my own. I can't.<br />
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He is able. He is even willing to be the good in me. He is longing for me to give up the struggle and walk in Him to the fullest degree and open up the day as a gift with praise and thanksgiving. "Oh, help me Father to be the wife and mother who reveals You and not myself."<br />
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<div class="psalmhdg" style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
Psalm 16</div>
<div class="hebrewtitle" style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; text-align: center;">
A <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: normal;">miktam</span><span class="nivfootnote" style="color: #0066aa; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px;"><sup><a href="http://biblehub.com/niv/psalms/16.htm#footnotes" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;" title="Title: Probably a literary or musical term">a</a></sup></span> of David.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-1.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>1</b></a></span>Keep me safe, my God,</div>
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for in you I take refuge.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-2.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>2</b></a></span>I say to the <span class="name" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, “You are my Lord;</div>
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apart from you I have no good thing.”</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-3.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>3</b></a></span>I say of the holy people who are in the land,</div>
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“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-4.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>4</b></a></span>Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.</div>
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I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods</div>
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or take up their names on my lips.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-5.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>5</b></a></span><span class="name" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, you alone are my portion and my cup;</div>
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you make my lot secure.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-6.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>6</b></a></span>The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;</div>
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surely I have a delightful inheritance.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-7.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>7</b></a></span>I will praise the <span class="name" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, who counsels me;</div>
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even at night my heart instructs me.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-8.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>8</b></a></span>I keep my eyes always on the <span class="name" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</div>
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With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-9.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>9</b></a></span>Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;</div>
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my body also will rest secure,</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-10.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>10</b></a></span>because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,</div>
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nor will you let your faithful<span class="nivfootnote" style="color: #0066aa; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px;"><sup><a href="http://biblehub.com/niv/psalms/16.htm#footnotes" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;" title="Or holy">b</a></sup></span> one see decay.</div>
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<span class="reftext" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/psalms/16-11.htm" style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;"><b>11</b></a></span>You make known to me the path of life;</div>
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you will fill me with joy in your presence,</div>
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with eternal pleasures at your right hand.</div>
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Wonderful words of hope to us and our pitiful selves. :)</div>
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<img align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" style="border: 0;" /><br />
<br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-17961723568947130792015-03-02T23:48:00.000-08:002015-03-04T22:32:33.926-08:00The <span style="color: #3d85c6;">thing</span> about life is that it keeps on going... even when you haven't written on your blog in over a YEAR?!! What?<br />
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And the <span style="color: #3d85c6;">funny</span> (and true-to-form) <span style="color: #3d85c6;">thing</span> is that I've had a BABY since the last time I wrote on my blog!<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r9_-vYXYUgA/VPVmSAp4WWI/AAAAAAAAAok/PGu5HGOt8T4/s1600/10433126_10152716419586179_1999261736254769373_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r9_-vYXYUgA/VPVmSAp4WWI/AAAAAAAAAok/PGu5HGOt8T4/s1600/10433126_10152716419586179_1999261736254769373_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r9_-vYXYUgA/VPVmSAp4WWI/AAAAAAAAAok/PGu5HGOt8T4/s1600/10433126_10152716419586179_1999261736254769373_n.jpg" height="400" width="283" /></a></div>
This little sweetie is a wonderful, adorable, walking, jabbering, cute-booty full of battling expression, fighting his way to be heard, felt and understood.... aren't we all?<br />
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And the <span style="color: #3d85c6;">AMAZING thing</span> is that, my site-meter says that there are TWO of you who consistently check on my blog to see if I will ever write again - for that I am truly amazed. Thank you, whoever you are - that is love.<br />
<br />
The <span style="color: #3d85c6;">mind boggling thing </span>is that I've been homeschooling my oldest three children this year and next year there will be four that I will "teach" - I say that very loosely because most days, once I've crawled out of bed after a night of multi-feedings and falling asleep in the most awkward of positions, it feels like a miracle when me and my "students" have actually accomplished something academic. Every morning is an explorative search for my brain and it's ability to produce intelligent thought. Not to mention the exploration to find the sweet, patient, encouraging parent I <i>think</i> I once was...<br />
<br />
And the most<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> delightful thing</span> is that I am still loved by my wonderful Creator-Father and by my dear husband and children and friends!<br />
<br />
Life goes on, its ups and downs, its bends and corners, its surprises and pit-falls and I'm so thankful to be alive, to be healthy and to be able to continue on hand-in-hand with my family and my God.<br />
<br />
The world around us is in such turmoil; such shaking and loosening of morality, faith, beliefs, loyalty, courage, and truth. I pray whoever you are that reads this, that you will be bound tightly to the Righteous Father as the world shakes. That we will be shaken to the solid foundation of Him and be able to then loosen the bonds of those still hanging on to corruptible life, so that they could stand on the incorruptible bedrock of truth with a victorious Messiah who will be revealed as the True King; worshiped and found perfect.<br />
<br />
<i>You will keep them in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because they trust in You. </i><br />
Isaiah 26:3<br />
<br />
<i>For He is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of partition [between us].</i><br />
Ephesians 2:14<br />
<br />
He is the <span style="color: #3d85c6;">SURE THING.</span><br />
<br />
Shalom!<br />
<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/r8v1RrkRb-8SDotXuO8Y3NZbkfPBat7PY8NjwwJX3UdYUVHASShG09LBIgsNfrl7QWqOLlfJWM6M1UCUOBRY0RsXumw7B7ohPEfjaRbG6HC3roKdgYxWlmG1RcHelB0GCEeaAvzHFA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img align="center" border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" style="border: 0px;" /></a><br />
<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AXu-ONda4nU/ULcLXDeA6CI/AAAAAAAAAjw/QNUHX6PR98g/s400/IMG_4708.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="266" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AXu-ONda4nU/ULcLXDeA6CI/AAAAAAAAAjw/QNUHX6PR98g/s1600/IMG_4708.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>My girls love being artsy, especially Hope. </div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<br />
Chanukah (Hanukkah)is just a few days away and the kids and I are enjoying making some decorations. So I thought I would share a few pics. <br />
<br />
If you have never read about what the feast or celebration of Hanukkah is, you should check it out <a href="http://www.synagoguechm.com/articles/Light-in-the-Darkness_eBook.pdf" target="_blank">here</a>. This is a wonderful account of the history.<br />
<br />
Here is my <strike>quick</strike> version; way back in the time of Alexander the Great (about 200 BC), Alexander and his minions began to take over the world and every new territory they took they commanded those people to speak, think and act like a Greek... or else.<br />
So, you can imagine how they felt about the Jews; those bacon-hating, Torah-adoring people who served only ONE God. They hated them.<br />
<br />
There were some Jews who compromised, thought they ought to assimilate and become like these Greeks; bought into all the lies... but there were many who would not compromise.<br />
<br />
About 175 BC, Antiochus IV declared himself "Epiphanes", which means "god manifest". He made statues of himself and demanded everyone worship him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oEmHuU2D6_M/ULcQgYntWcI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/-2GGq9edhIE/s1600/IMG_4712.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oEmHuU2D6_M/ULcQgYntWcI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/-2GGq9edhIE/s400/IMG_4712.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Justice loves the Star or Shield of David. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
He brought a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gymnasium_(ancient_Greece)" target="_blank">gymnasium</a> into Jerusalem.<br />
He slaughtered thousands of Jews and had the arrogent disregard to enter <span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"></span><span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;">the Holy Temple, stealing the gold and silver, including the incense altar, the table, and the menorah. He turned the Temple in Jerusalem into a temple of Zeus and anyone living in the territories he had taken over had to worship him and his gods.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"><br />
</span><br />
<div align="LEFT">
How horrible this time must have been for the God-fearing people of Israel. If you were caught eating Kosher, circumsizing your sons or reading the Torah, you were killed. </div>
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Italic;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Italic;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Italic;"><div align="LEFT">
<span style="color: #351c75;"><em><strong>But many in Israel were determined and resolved in their hearts not to eat anything </strong></em><em><strong>unclean; they preferred to die rather than to be defiled with unclean food or to profane the holy covenant; and
they did die. Terrible affliction was upon Israel.</strong> (1 Maccabees 1:54–64)</em></span></div>
<div align="LEFT">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Italic;"><div align="LEFT">
<em><strong>But the people who know their God will display strength and take action.</strong></em> (Don't you LOVE THIS?)</div>
<div align="LEFT">
<em>(Daniel 11:32)</em></div>
<br />
An elderly man named Mattiyahu could take it no more and sent out word to all his fellow brothers, <br />
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"> </span>
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"><div align="LEFT">
<em><strong>"Let everyone who is zealous for the Torah and who stands by the covenant follow after me!”</strong> </em></div>
<div align="LEFT">
<em> (1 Maccabees 2:27). </em></div>
<div align="LEFT">
<em></em> </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vdmdhq746fY/UL1vgD2XR3I/AAAAAAAAAm8/rZKAiUs2eTA/s1600/IMG_4709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vdmdhq746fY/UL1vgD2XR3I/AAAAAAAAAm8/rZKAiUs2eTA/s320/IMG_4709.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grace painting her menorah painting and<br />
Mercy's "God of Miracles" painting.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="LEFT">
He, his family and other courageous brothers fled into the mountains and were soon followed by other brave, God-fearing men, where they formed a small army. </div>
<div align="LEFT">
Mattiyahu was old and actually died in the mountains but his son Judah rose up and took charge of the army; <strong>"<span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"><em>Engaging in guerilla warfare against the Syrian occupation force, Yehudah (Judah) and his freedom fighters came to be called </em></span></strong></div>
<strong>
</strong><div align="LEFT">
<em><span style="font-family: Utopia-Italic;"><strong>Maccabees </strong></span><span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"><strong>which means “Hammers.” Judah would forever after be known as Yehudah the Maccabee: Judah the Hammer."</strong> (<a href="http://www.synagoguechm.com/articles/Light-in-the-Darkness_eBook.pdf" target="_blank">FFOZ Hanukkah and the Disciples of Zion)</a></span></em></div>
<span style="font-family: Utopia-Regular;"></span></span></span></span><br />
In a <u>miraculous</u> victory the small band of Maccabees clobbered the Greek army that came against them until they actually took Jerusalem back!<br />
<br />
When the Maccabees found the Temple in such a horrific state, they immediately began to restore it, they tore down the altars to Zeus and returned the pure and precious - rededicating it to the Holy One. <br />
<br />
They found some oil to burn in the menorah but it was only enough for one day, but they decided to light it and send someone to get more, thinking it would burn out after one day.<br />
But then another miracle happened, the light in the menorah kept burning and burned for EIGHT days!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ribZnM97TFc/ULcRfCIYG1I/AAAAAAAAAls/H2mdHb5XgaQ/s1600/IMG_4724.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ribZnM97TFc/ULcRfCIYG1I/AAAAAAAAAls/H2mdHb5XgaQ/s400/IMG_4724.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
Hanukkah is the Feast of Dedication; celebrating a God who performs miracles and gives light.<br />
<br />
I am so inspired by the intrepid courage these people had to fight for the Truth, to fight for Torah, for what is undefiled, pure and righteous. To not allow anyone to make them turn from God, His instructions and His name, even if it cost them their own lives and their children's lives. What a story. What a beautiful reason to celebrate and light our own menorah.<br />
<br />
AND even Yeshua (Jesus) went all the way to Jerusalem to participate in the celebration as well. (See John 10:22-39). <br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qSVgt9R7P4c/ULcWizm0AlI/AAAAAAAAAmU/BhYpP8aGYU0/s1600/IMG_4725.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qSVgt9R7P4c/ULcWizm0AlI/AAAAAAAAAmU/BhYpP8aGYU0/s320/IMG_4725.JPG" width="213" /></a><br />
Yeshua <em>is</em> the LIGHT of the world and He told us to be the light of the world too. <br />
<br />
And if you are curious as to why we are not celebrating Christmas.... well, here is a really fascinating video to explain that, just go <a href="http://www.passionfortruth.com/messageplayer.aspx?parentnavigationid=18867#" target="_blank">here</a> and watch "Truth or Tradition". <br />
<br />
Why celebrate a holiday rooted deep in terrible pagan rituals when you can celebrate an amazing God-centered feast like Hanukkah - where even Yeshua Himself celebrated.<br />
<br />
Heart-peace; Shalom to you all!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tvx9CTzOR3A/ULcYF8gSw4I/AAAAAAAAAmc/91kgi5HMIoo/s1600/IMG_4726.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tvx9CTzOR3A/ULcYF8gSw4I/AAAAAAAAAmc/91kgi5HMIoo/s400/IMG_4726.JPG" width="265" /></a></div>
Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-68027761935435907982012-11-14T08:31:00.001-08:002012-11-21T22:57:57.617-08:00The River<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
Walking wearily along this dry,
dusty, empty road; <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
my life and all its lonely places.<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p></o:p> I reach a dark, cold and rocky place
<br />
where my feet cannot go but painfully slow,<br />
it's there that I hear a sound. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p></o:p> A sound of rushing, gushing, charging
and fullness. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p></o:p> I'm drawn to turn away from my
present place <br />
to follow what I hear. <o:p></o:p><br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I find myself so thirsty; my tongue is
so dry, </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
but it's the depths of me that feel especially parched and desolate.<br />
<br />
With every heavy step the
louder the sound becomes,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
it envelopes my hearing and deafens
my thoughts. <br />
<br />
And then I see it: <br />
a mighty, tumultuous river of the
deepest hues. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yH6sI8W09Rw/UKPB5qdFZvI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/kVkhSv5UwlM/s1600/141_4121_mod1crop1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yH6sI8W09Rw/UKPB5qdFZvI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/kVkhSv5UwlM/s400/141_4121_mod1crop1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/encouragement/">Photo by Encouragement</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Its fury is obvious by the sound yet
the waves are gloriously radiant and compelling. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the sight makes my heart feel so
desperate, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
my soul so empty, my throat so tight. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The river is close.</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The edge my feet are standing near is
sharp and deep. <br />
<br />
I know what I must do for I feel so
dirty, so filthy, so dry, and exhausted.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart screams "JUMP!".
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Yet my weary mind is terrified of the leap.<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Longing. <br />
I must get in this River. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm so tired of this land I've been
traveling </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and bound to for so long. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The thought of going back to that
road sickens me to the point of courage. </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I do it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I jump!<br />
<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I feared it would be cold; <br />
I thought
it would take me away in a dark, frigid gulp.<br />
<o:p></o:p> </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But I feel so light, so nourished, so
warm, <br />
as though I'm being embraced by loving arms. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
What is this place?<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I cannot move for the current is too
strong to fight, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I give in and let it take me where it
wants. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
My heart is overwhelmed! <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The strong fluid rolls me and
captures me, <br />
washes and buries me deep.<br />
<o:p></o:p> </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Oh, I feel loved!<br />
<br />
I feel life coming in to my bones!<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I'm in. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I'm found.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I belong.</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I am in the submergence of Love. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I've been captivated, captured and
covered by the thickest, purest, deepest Love. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The waves roll me in gentle hugs,</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I feel the jagged edges of my soul
wearing away.<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
All the weighty burdens that were
attached to my being have melted away.<br />
<o:p></o:p> </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
That thirst I felt for so long is
quenched, yet <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I feel completely addicted to this
fresh Water of Life. <br />
<o:p></o:p> </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Inside. Hidden. Forgiven. Clean.
Included. Received. Refreshed. Adored. <br />
.......................................................................<br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
May my heart and soul jump into the
deep Love of YHVH; <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
the One who always was, always is and
always will be. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
May I be so utterly intertwined and buried
inside of HIM<br />
that onlookers would be compelled to His character.</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Flowing with Him. Used by Him.
Carried by Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Alive in Him in an abundant,
passionate, unstoppable union. <br />
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
JUMP - FALL IN LOVE!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RRozMa-MiWM/UKZmen6dQUI/AAAAAAAAAjY/O1AJuw0fbrk/s1600/seth+jumping+in.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RRozMa-MiWM/UKZmen6dQUI/AAAAAAAAAjY/O1AJuw0fbrk/s320/seth+jumping+in.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">This is my nephew jumping in! </span><br />
<br />
I wrote a similar allegory about 10 years ago and it keeps coming to memory and reminding me of my purpose: to jump into God and get lost in His love, His purity, His truth and His mercy.<br />
This is a song from Jeremy Riddle about the furious love I speak of. Soak it in.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br /></div>
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Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-17362655594524959672012-08-20T17:12:00.002-07:002012-08-20T17:52:43.833-07:00Fierce Momma <br />
Life charges on ahead even when we are digging our heels in and grasping for anything strong enough to hold onto to slow things down doesn't it? That's certainly how I feel lately.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GdGZJgYdHKc/UDLAgRJnuPI/AAAAAAAAAck/7KRy1Xea5Y0/s1600/IMG_4249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" mda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GdGZJgYdHKc/UDLAgRJnuPI/AAAAAAAAAck/7KRy1Xea5Y0/s400/IMG_4249.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Over the last year there have been several epochs of God's chastisement to my character (or lack of), which ALWAYS, because God is who He is, brings me into that place where I am overwhelmed with disgust of my own humanity and overwhelmed by His love FOR my humanity. He's just like that, He made us human with human desires and weaknesses because He loves it when we humble ourselves, and run like an anguished child into His divinity. I think it's in that running to Him and in His embracing of us that we are changed and He gives us what we need of Himself to carry on and do the next, righteous thing.<br />
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We decided to take our kids out of public school this spring. Which has always been my desire, but with four young children and me thinking I had to be some kind of super-powered, organizational-wizard with the mind of Albert Einstein and the patience of Mother Theresa, felt duly underqualified to take on such a feat. Seriously.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yegC5EmeKuQ/UDLC6T4LcEI/AAAAAAAAAdk/5QAglhLDaq0/s1600/girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yegC5EmeKuQ/UDLC6T4LcEI/AAAAAAAAAdk/5QAglhLDaq0/s320/girls.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">But then stuff happened. Adonai began showing us things. Things like behaviors from our kids that were obviously NOT learned at home. Violent words were coming out of their mouths and where had their joy gone? I watched some home videos and saw the difference in my son's joyful personality BEFORE he started school! Uggh. That revelation feels a bit like getting socked in the stomach.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> From that, Adonai seemed to flip a switch on in me where I just knew there was no way I couldn't homeschool, I had to. And, like, duh. God would help me... He's sort of the ONE with the super-powers, He kind of organized the entire world, He put Albert Einstein's mind in his skull and filled Mother Theresa with patience. Ok, yeah, let's do this Father. </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CIc-NGAZmGA/UDLCicid1nI/AAAAAAAAAdU/EGxnCk7Qt-U/s1600/hopeheart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: right; height: 214px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 321px;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CIc-NGAZmGA/UDLCicid1nI/AAAAAAAAAdU/EGxnCk7Qt-U/s320/hopeheart.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">The other day I was reading a birthday card my dear friend had sent to me, and among the many lovely things she said about me, one thing she said was that I am "couragiously fierce". mmmm, what? Those words lept out at me as I read them, because, certainly I would LIKE to be couragiously fierce, but, I know myself pretty well and I would not put Couragiously Fierce under the definition of Stephenie Ward! Meek, timid, slightly odd with a splash of sweet but not Couragiously Fierce. However, my friend, who sees people how Adonai sees them wouldn't have written that if she didn't perceive it to be true.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-phpOdCWlFaE/UDLVmH-SaLI/AAAAAAAAAes/kNY2x16UKFo/s1600/IMG_4291.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-phpOdCWlFaE/UDLVmH-SaLI/AAAAAAAAAes/kNY2x16UKFo/s320/IMG_4291.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> FIERCE: 1. Having a savage and violent nature; ferocious. (w<b>ell, yes, when I find those creepy spiders</b>) 2. Extremely severe or violent. (<b>not so much</b>) 3. Extremely intense or ardent. <b>(I have my moments)</b> 4. Strenuously active or resolute. <b>(only when I can no longer stand the mess in the kitchen!)</b> 5. vehement, intense, or strong. <b>(it does take some intense strength and vehement courage to fish out the doody from the bath that some child left for me)</b> ADJ. marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid; "fierce loyalty'.... </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">HMMMMM. Wait a monute.... Ahh haa, I get it now. I got me some Fierce. Because if the Enemy of all that is rightousness and true, pure and innocent, lovely and joy-filled wants to wage battle aginst the fruit of MY loins; the precious treasures that Adonai has given me and my husband and draw them into his wiles and his deceptive plans, well then HERE is one couragiously fierce momma who plans on grasping one hand to the hand of her Beloved, and the other hand to the hearts of her children; pulling them into the divine protection and guidance of an even more fierce love. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LXxP4y0jbOM/UDLZgQgcXtI/AAAAAAAAAfc/cuF1kQnZH28/s1600/IMG_4287.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LXxP4y0jbOM/UDLZgQgcXtI/AAAAAAAAAfc/cuF1kQnZH28/s320/IMG_4287.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">The time we have with our kids is so small in comparison to the amount of time they will be "on their own", making their own decisions that will affect the rest of their lives and the lives whom they touch. We get one chance. </span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d-nmWxFj708/UDLCl-DSjAI/AAAAAAAAAdc/FIduALcjnSc/s1600/girls2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" mda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d-nmWxFj708/UDLCl-DSjAI/AAAAAAAAAdc/FIduALcjnSc/s320/girls2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">And if you homeschool, you ARE couragiously fierce. Because doesn't everyone and their sister start telling you exactly what they think of homeschooling when you tell them that's what you are doing? and dont they ALL say the same thing? "Aren't you worried about how they will be socialized?" "They need to be socialized." </span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">It takes courageous resolution to do what society, peers and even family think is unacceptible.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y5afBWxoptk/UDLEMxt3lqI/AAAAAAAAAds/gK_vRjH440Y/s1600/IMG_4364.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y5afBWxoptk/UDLEMxt3lqI/AAAAAAAAAds/gK_vRjH440Y/s320/IMG_4364.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> I personally don't think Adonai is covering His eyes, afraid to watch, biting His nails, worrying about how our children will assimilate themselves socially in this world. In fact, I think He and His troop of angels are standing behind our kids in an uproarious audience, shouting encouragement and life, joy and peace as the children pursue God's economy, intentions, destiny and truth.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jd3J5rdKUu0/UDLZCuMi99I/AAAAAAAAAfQ/0Pr2iJvu9CI/s1600/IMG_4301.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jd3J5rdKUu0/UDLZCuMi99I/AAAAAAAAAfQ/0Pr2iJvu9CI/s320/IMG_4301.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> And frankly, I've seen what our society has to offer socially and I'm pretty sure we're not interested. </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vEufkPzH1k4/UDLCbTipSJI/AAAAAAAAAdE/BOqk_iggfd8/s1600/justice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" mda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vEufkPzH1k4/UDLCbTipSJI/AAAAAAAAAdE/BOqk_iggfd8/s320/justice.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">"Make me a worthy momma who will raise <b>learned children who will dazzle the world with Torah and goodness". </b>Part of our Shabbat Kiddush I pray every Sabbath. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">And just in case there are those of you reading this and you are sending your kids to school, please know that I think you are very courageous too, especially if you believe that is what God is asking you to do. And I pray for Adonai to give your children everything they need to walk that destiny out with complete protection and mercy, unscathed by the plans of the Enemy and instead leave an impression of God on those around them.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n8C27p8QJBY/UDLWVujs30I/AAAAAAAAAe4/hzXS6QqE3ac/s1600/IMG_4412.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" mda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n8C27p8QJBY/UDLWVujs30I/AAAAAAAAAe4/hzXS6QqE3ac/s320/IMG_4412.JPG" width="238" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> And I know many of you are just trying to put one foot in front of the other in the morning and the thought of homeschooling makes you want to burst into to tears, or perhaps you've already raised your children and they are now in adulthood and you wish you had done things differently. I understand that. These thoughts are my thoughts, and where me and my family are in life. I cannot speak for anyone else, other than to say that God is not going to fail you in your pursuit of Him. He is courageously fierce for you and your children. He loves to be given the opportunity to work in the "impossible". </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Lets stay fierce,</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="color: yellow;"></span><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-5503642780878708902011-10-17T13:02:00.000-07:002011-10-17T15:31:50.462-07:00Here's Some RandomHappy Autumn!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cvq3_ZrqlIQ/TpyF09m7h_I/AAAAAAAAAYI/A2TIAjazEts/s1600/IMG_3143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cvq3_ZrqlIQ/TpyF09m7h_I/AAAAAAAAAYI/A2TIAjazEts/s400/IMG_3143.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xiqPPZeeDPs/TpyF1GkLZSI/AAAAAAAAAYU/0kWX5VdhLag/s1600/IMG_3147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xiqPPZeeDPs/TpyF1GkLZSI/AAAAAAAAAYU/0kWX5VdhLag/s400/IMG_3147.JPG" /></a></div><br />
So, I seem to be turning into one of those "health nuts/granola" people. I have always loved researching health and learning the nutritional facts on foods, etc., which has led me to several things I have started incorporating into my life. And though I should be doing a million other things right at this moment, I just have to get this post up, it's on my mind too much! <br />
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The more research I do, the more I discover that a plant-based, living-food diet is the most healthFULL way to eat. Which is what I want for my family. I have been eating more and more living (raw) foods and less and less sugar, gluten, meat, dairy (still have coffee and tea, though) and I gotta tell you, I feel the best I've ever felt, more energy, I feel light instead of that ugly heavy feeling and my skin looks better as well as I'm down several pounds (yipee!). <br />
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Here are two of the many tips I have to share with you on this new healthy lifestyle journey.<br />
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GREEN SMOOTHIES<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--PrUQMWzSiw/Tpx1ny6NlYI/AAAAAAAAAVs/Jgc-bIwOQxY/s1600/IMG_3209.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--PrUQMWzSiw/Tpx1ny6NlYI/AAAAAAAAAVs/Jgc-bIwOQxY/s400/IMG_3209.JPG" /></a></div><br />
The first thing and my most favorite are "Green smoothies". Start the day with a tall glass of lemon water and then have a green smoothie. Here is my most favorite recipe: <br />
Let's call it THE GOOD MORNING SMOOTHIE<br />
<b>1 mango</b> (if no mango add another peach and a frozen banana or two.)<br />
<b>1 peach</b> <br />
<b>3-4 large kale leaves or substitute spinach, collards or chard.*</b> <br />
<b>1 inch <b>(or less)</b> of fresh peeled ginger<br />
</b>and enough <b>water to blend</b> in your blender to the concistancy you enjoy.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EK7Ha3He-bI/Tpx8w7fOY0I/AAAAAAAAAWc/IcHm_TOigEg/s1600/IMG_3210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EK7Ha3He-bI/Tpx8w7fOY0I/AAAAAAAAAWc/IcHm_TOigEg/s320/IMG_3210.JPG" /></a></div><br />
~A few extras you could add in just to kick up the healthy:<br />
Flaxmeal<br />
Coconut oil (really tasty in this smoothie)<br />
Bee pollen (that's what those little flecks are in the picture - a little bit goes a long way!)<br />
Parsley<br />
Chia seeds<br />
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*<i>a high speed blender works best on the greens, otherwise you may end up with a chunky version - which, though not the most palatable, still doable</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7-JTMVX3lx4/Tpx8xFJQnMI/AAAAAAAAAWs/1v5VIGc_TXg/s1600/IMG_3211.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7-JTMVX3lx4/Tpx8xFJQnMI/AAAAAAAAAWs/1v5VIGc_TXg/s320/IMG_3211.JPG" /></a></div>SOOO cleansing, tasty and full of energy. The kids like it too - especially my one year old - she fights me for my cup. :)<br />
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DATES<br />
The other little tip to share is date paste. Buy some Madjool dates, or whatever you can find that are all natural. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IoAJl9iT_8w/TpyBSx8ADxI/AAAAAAAAAXk/0HCly_rBSq0/s1600/IMG_3221.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IoAJl9iT_8w/TpyBSx8ADxI/AAAAAAAAAXk/0HCly_rBSq0/s400/IMG_3221.JPG" /></a></div>Pit them, soak 'em in water over night and blend them with the soaking water in a blender or food prcoessor into a smooth paste.<br />
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This makes a delicious sweetener in your smoothies (in case you don't have sweet fruit, add some date paste to the above smoothie). I've put this date paste on toast, oatmeal, quinoa, in salad dressings, hummus... the possibilities are endless and they are full of minerals and are an all natural sweetener alternative.<br />
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Just remember, small changes can make a big difference. Here's to a lovely, healthy life! <br />
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<p><br />
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</p>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-82477717626017150142011-09-01T21:55:00.000-07:002011-09-01T22:02:07.191-07:00LoveYou know what I love about love? It's unlimited. It's boundless. It disregards a blemish or fault because it's pursuit is far deeper than the external, superficial or even the crack in one's personal character. It's able to move up, over and around the seeming ominous "boulders" that often stand in the way of our own mental and emotional capabilites. <br />
It's faithful - matchless loyalty.<br />
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I've been pondering the many constant adjustments and irritants and disturbances that usually arise within a day as not just a mom and wife, but as a human being. The inner workings of my personality combined with my weaknesses and lack of self-control smacking head-on into the unforeseen circumstances of everyday life can be a very unattractive collision. I see myself reacting (in anger) instead of responding (in gentleness). It's not pretty. I feel my loved ones deserve so much better than what I offer, which is a revelation that leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth and soul. <br />
<br />
And then, mixed in with all this daily business, there are these profound moments. <br />
These moments of absolute, heart-breaking joy and captivation. <br />
Such as a moment where I look at my husband from across the room as he's administering his infectious sense of humour and adoration to our kids and I am overwhelmed with my feelings for him, where it feels like a hand is squeezing my heart and I have to hold myself back from jumping the counter to tackle him. <br />
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A moment where, it's as though I see my children for the first time and it catches my breath because of the physical beauty I see. <br />
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A moment where a reflection of my child's inner beauty sneaks out of them in a gesture of compassion and kindness. <br />
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A moment when my sweet baby wraps her little velvety arms around my neck and hugs with ferocious abandon. <br />
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A moment where I feel the gentle kiss of Adonai to my heart where I know He is whispering his forgiveness and mercy in spite of all the ugliness I see in myself. <br />
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I think these moments are because of LOVE (not to mention a whole lot of sweet grace). It's such a small, little, four-letter, english word, yet it has the power of life and death, because without it in us, for us and through us, what on earth would life be?!! <br />
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I'm not writing about the love you hear frivilously spoken of everyday, everywhere. Where the meaning is usually characterized by a feeling or a physical lust or a desire for certain objects. <br />
<br />
What I'm talking about is the LOVE that exudes from the eternal, everlasting, uncompromising, true, all-powerful, all-knowing, life-giving, living, holy, perfect Creator. God himself. Love. <br />
<br />
What I love about love is Love. :) Peace in.<br />
<br />
<i>I Cor. 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.</i><br />
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<br />
<i>1 John 4:8<br />
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.</i><br />
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</p>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-21260577387393641592011-08-09T08:20:00.000-07:002011-08-09T08:21:19.811-07:00Hello, Summer.Well, it's Summer, finally. It's been such a cold and rainy beginning, but August came in with some heat and it cools off quite a bit at night still, which is one of the many things I love about the northwest. I am sorry for those of you who live in the south - wish I could send you some relief from the heat! <br />
<br />
So, my wonderful husband surprised me on my birthday this July with the camera I have longed for for years - so look out! - I am sure pictures galore will show up on Facebook and this blog. Beginning today! I still have so much to learn - I haven't a clue about editing and such, but I am having so much fun - when I get the chance to play with it. <br />
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A couple of weeks ago, Jason took us on a picnic in the mountains - which is one of my all time favorite family activities. So I just had to post the awesomeness that is British Columbia and the beauty that astounds me (if you click on the pictures, the clarity is much better). It was a perfect day, but the horse flies and mosquitoes were rather ridiculous - but we persevered. :)<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JN3hMImt6dE/TkFAQ2qtY1I/AAAAAAAAATY/5pfVLcawiqM/s1600/IMG_2795.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JN3hMImt6dE/TkFAQ2qtY1I/AAAAAAAAATY/5pfVLcawiqM/s400/IMG_2795.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DKJFMwhUBSA/TkFARTHjoLI/AAAAAAAAATg/v7mKPKRdj7Y/s1600/IMG_2802.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DKJFMwhUBSA/TkFARTHjoLI/AAAAAAAAATg/v7mKPKRdj7Y/s400/IMG_2802.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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/></a></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cf5x6Z_IwSY/TkE3sBOmpvI/AAAAAAAAASI/_Lx8vGqX4as/s1600/IMG_2774.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="267" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cf5x6Z_IwSY/TkE3sBOmpvI/AAAAAAAAASI/_Lx8vGqX4as/s400/IMG_2774.JPG" /></a></div>Hopefully you all are having a wonderful, delightful Summer. See you soon.... I hope!<p><br />
<img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br />
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Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-81725011228046088552011-06-08T14:00:00.000-07:002011-06-09T21:05:28.994-07:00Take a little walk with me.So, I have been trying to upload the gazillion pictures I took when I was at my parents' place this April. I thought it would be fun to bring you all along with me to my old stomping grounds for a walk - where I used to explore/pray/vent and breathe so often as a child and young adult. <br />
However, it has taken what seems like years to upload even these, so I am posting what I have so I can MOVE ON with my life! (for goodness sake!)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vKJfm3E9neQ/TbueMcfH7JI/AAAAAAAAAOM/9VYnXoImOxE/s1600/April%2B2011%2B029.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vKJfm3E9neQ/TbueMcfH7JI/AAAAAAAAAOM/9VYnXoImOxE/s400/April%2B2011%2B029.JPG" /></a></div>My parents home and the Grande Ronde Valley with Mount Emily.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gYCHMyzTed0/TcjPpD2qAlI/AAAAAAAAAP8/Kd1lLqHgPd0/s1600/April%2B2011%2B086.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gYCHMyzTed0/TcjPpD2qAlI/AAAAAAAAAP8/Kd1lLqHgPd0/s400/April%2B2011%2B086.JPG" /></a></div>I love mossy trees. Probably because they are only mossy in spring because of the dry climate here.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xjXtR-dOxN0/TcjEQaU36vI/AAAAAAAAAOc/nfe0br6JHtY/s1600/April%2B2011%2B104.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xjXtR-dOxN0/TcjEQaU36vI/AAAAAAAAAOc/nfe0br6JHtY/s400/April%2B2011%2B104.JPG" /></a></div>The driveway.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ybn03PVYJwE/TcjEQzCnXMI/AAAAAAAAAOk/_ViGemJCYC8/s1600/April%2B2011%2B103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ybn03PVYJwE/TcjEQzCnXMI/AAAAAAAAAOk/_ViGemJCYC8/s400/April%2B2011%2B103.JPG" /></a></div>Pretty landscape below their house.<br />
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Sorry this is so blah, hopefully next post will be more interesting! Hope you all are having a great Spring!<br />
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</p>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-2874989885152622802011-04-12T14:32:00.000-07:002011-04-12T14:46:10.223-07:00It's only been six months...Well, I tell you, this four-kids thing has sure slowed down my ability to put thoughts together that make any sense and/or are worth writing in a blog where other human beings (as opposed to what...idk) read. <br />
<br />
I am stupified and mesmerized that it has been SIX MONTHS since my last post. Rediculous. So, thanks to some encouragement from a dear friend, I will try to pull it together...<br />
<br />
I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to re-cap the last six months without boring you all to tears, and having a difficult time. So I will (try to) just give gentle descriptions of a few of the important highlights.<br />
<br />
My Sweet Hope turned four years old. She pretty much planned her little party and the cake and had a list of potential gifts for months before her <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nXHB-X29w3s/TaSqlQo7CTI/AAAAAAAAAME/9-jWG-DmYdU/s1600/October%2B%252710%2B004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nXHB-X29w3s/TaSqlQo7CTI/AAAAAAAAAME/9-jWG-DmYdU/s320/October%2B%252710%2B004.JPG" /></a></div>actual birthday. Everything she saw (usually anything pink) she would add to her list... I was beginning to think she was going to be extremely disappointed when birthday time came, but, good grief - did she make out like a bandit! Love that girl! <br />
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We had the first of MANY snow fall's on November 19th. Not neccesarily a 'highlight' to me, per say, but there it is. And for those of you who know my absolute fondness (sarcasm) for winter, I want you to know I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wfH7_8dYt98/TaSmQeEG3DI/AAAAAAAAAL0/yQm9OFj6LDY/s1600/November%2B%252710%2B008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wfH7_8dYt98/TaSmQeEG3DI/AAAAAAAAAL0/yQm9OFj6LDY/s320/November%2B%252710%2B008.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d3WLzFbBhgI/TaSmQ01mVbI/AAAAAAAAAL8/ppsUoQpvlmE/s1600/November%2B%252710%2B014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d3WLzFbBhgI/TaSmQ01mVbI/AAAAAAAAAL8/ppsUoQpvlmE/s320/November%2B%252710%2B014.JPG" /></a></div>determined in my heart to remain positive and try to rejoice in all the white, cold, <strike>miserable,<br />
</strike> beautiful winter, and I feel I had victory. It was also a tremendous help that we purchased a new-to-us suburban that actually made it up our road in the snow without any intercession and/or multiple tries and driving backwards up the drive way! It was glorious! <br />
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We are going to church. [gasp]<br />
Okay, let me back up a tad, Jason and I have been praying since we married about going to church, and neither of us ever had any real answers. We specifically prayed that we would meet the people He wanted us to be in relationship with for that much needed and longed for 'fellowship' (for lack of a better word) and if church was a part of that then so be it. Well, long story short - the Lord used Justice's kindergarten class and another playday event with the kids to introduce us to some wonderful new friends and church. :) We are sooo loving getting to know these dear people - there are several families with young children whom we get to hang out with on a weekly basis! This is so long in coming and we are grateful. The best outcome of this has been that our kids are making wonderful friendships with kids who have like-minded parents and values - that is such a gift to us. <br />
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Justice turned SIX years old! Holy toledo. He is growing so tall, maturing, learning so much, has so many interests and is such a good, <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-niJml8r0deg/TaSuVVXGf5I/AAAAAAAAAMM/t3zm_mJUgFY/s1600/January%2B2011%2B007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-niJml8r0deg/TaSuVVXGf5I/AAAAAAAAAMM/t3zm_mJUgFY/s320/January%2B2011%2B007.JPG" /></a></div>sweet boy. We are very proud of him. <sigh> Although I'm struggling a smidge with all this maturity and growth - I miss my baby boy, yet, what a wonderful thing to see him become his own person. Thinking about it is exciting, because I know Yahweh has so many good things ahead for our kids. <br />
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Grace is finally starting to have words and sentences that we can understand. THIS is a big deal. It can be such a frustration to all involved when verbal communication consists of pointing, whining, pulling of hair (my own) and an occasional growl. She is getting there. :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S74G0HMrp7Y/TaS5FVyAOeI/AAAAAAAAAMs/nYMKZJCaBVA/s1600/March%2B2011%2B006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S74G0HMrp7Y/TaS5FVyAOeI/AAAAAAAAAMs/nYMKZJCaBVA/s320/March%2B2011%2B006.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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Mercy is growing so fast. She is such a joy, loves being with her siblings and her siblings ADORE her. She handles over-affection very well. That girl is loved. Although, her new thing lately - since having an ear infection and no longer breastfeeding - is to scream when she wants something, we're talking the kind of scream that makes you wish you were devoid of nerves and ears, and makes you daydream about some kind of device that could be placed over the child's head that would render her vocal chords temporarily useless until she can tell you what she wants and asks with a please and thank you, kind of scream. And she screams between bites of food, for pete's sake... anyway, we have NO idea how to stop this and are open to <strike>interventions<br />
</strike> advice. <br />
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My parents came for two visits this autumn/winter (yay!). <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TlIWHDcWPvM/TaTHvFxiwqI/AAAAAAAAANE/XiZqUpS7hNI/s1600/hairdo%2B005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TlIWHDcWPvM/TaTHvFxiwqI/AAAAAAAAANE/XiZqUpS7hNI/s200/hairdo%2B005.JPG" /></a></div>I got my hair cut and colored (<b>money saving tip</b>: go 8 months between haircuts!)<br />
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Jason cut his hair [gasp]... not quite short enough, in my <i>humble</i> oppinion, but it's a start... He's handsome all the time, I know.<br />
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We've gotten quite a bit done in our basement, it's even got color on the walls and there's flooring! <br />
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I think I may be done breastfeeding... like for. ever... [let's just sit in silence and ponder that statement for a moment] <br />
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Because I'm no longer breastfeeding, I am now slowly starting to change my diet to a more vegetarian/raw diet and really loving it (even losing a few pounds). This is a great websight on the subject if ever you are interested. <a href="http://rawfoodrehab.ning.com">http://rawfoodrehab.ning.com<br />
</a><br />
I got a steam mop. <woo hoo!><br />
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It's SPRING. [can you hear the Hallelujah chorus?]<br />
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And that is probably enough. If you've read this entire post, well, God bless you and return all the time you lost ten-fold!! Thanks for reading. Until next time.... much love and HAPPY SPRING!<br />
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[side note: It's been so long since I've blogged, I can't find the spell check, so um, just ignore all the misspelled words, okeedokee? ty]<br />
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</p>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-5173061466218959082010-10-15T21:55:00.000-07:002010-10-15T22:04:57.271-07:00A Day In THE Life<A href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLknu4timfI/AAAAAAAAAKs/4biOz0Kmr8g/s1600/October+%2710+001.JPG"><IMG style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528493704024857074 border=0 alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLknu4timfI/AAAAAAAAAKs/4biOz0Kmr8g/s320/October+%2710+001.JPG"></A> A lovely Autumn day it was. Tonight I sit nursing one daughter while sitting with my two other daughters, willing them to just settle down and sleep, I touch my Gracie's head and begin to think about how blessed I am. The thought overwhelms me for a moment. God has given me so much.<br /><br />I have four beautiful, healthy children who think I'm pretty wonderful. That in itself is beyond measure - wonderful. <br /><br />I'm so blessed. Blessed with a boy who is learning new things he's really good at and finding the joy in that accomplishment. <OBJECT id=BLOG_video-a17c7a7d2adc015b class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="a17c7a7d2adc015b"></OBJECT><br />Blessed with kids who love eachother and glow in the Autumn air. What fun to watch them find pleasure in rolling around in the grass finding cloud-creatures in the sky. <A href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLktfcP6YpI/AAAAAAAAALM/NZMoqO1S3UI/s1600/October+%2710+018.JPG"><IMG style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528500035756122770 border=0 alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLktfcP6YpI/AAAAAAAAALM/NZMoqO1S3UI/s400/October+%2710+018.JPG"></A><br />Blessed with a daughter who very seriously wants me to have a flower she picked. <A href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkreGzX1RI/AAAAAAAAAK8/Ufzqgs0XH2M/s1600/October+%2710+007.JPG"><IMG style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528497813796148498 border=0 alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkreGzX1RI/AAAAAAAAAK8/Ufzqgs0XH2M/s400/October+%2710+007.JPG"></A><br />Blessed with little pink sweeties to pack and kids who love taking pictures with my digital (thankfully) camera. <A href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkt6_zu-8I/AAAAAAAAALU/tPFmuSLvMj8/s1600/October+%2710+020.JPG"><IMG style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 356px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528500509158079426 border=0 alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkt6_zu-8I/AAAAAAAAALU/tPFmuSLvMj8/s400/October+%2710+020.JPG"></A><br />And though I am really weary and my brain doesn't seem to be able to convey my thoughts very well tonight, I think you get the general idea. :) This is my life and this is the only life I want. Yahweh help me rejoice in every moment and enjoy it abundantly. I pray your day is full of blessings and love too. Happy Autumn. <A href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkumbmLODI/AAAAAAAAALc/XMuwTLDQAd0/s1600/October+%2710+015.JPG"><IMG style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528501255351777330 border=0 alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TLkumbmLODI/AAAAAAAAALc/XMuwTLDQAd0/s400/October+%2710+015.JPG"></A> <br /><P><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" align=center src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png"> </P>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-15580337027945495022010-10-05T21:30:00.000-07:002010-10-05T21:45:45.393-07:00Stuck On The RockDo you ever feel as though you were sailing along fine in the Sea of God, when all the sudden you realize you aren't actually going anywhere anymore, and in fact your 'boat' is actually stuck atop a rock? Yep. <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S7veVQerYTI/AAAAAAAAAI0/0rq_7dVkJoM/s1600/pic-image-6-472552344.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 245px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S7veVQerYTI/AAAAAAAAAI0/0rq_7dVkJoM/s320/pic-image-6-472552344.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457199830271746354" /></a><br /><br />I have felt this way for some time. Could it be since I was married, or started having children? It could be. The very intimate places of my heart where I go with the Lord are getting a little crowded with the other loves of my life. <br /><br />Before I got married, I wondered and even asked other married women whom I knew had a close relationship with Yeshua (Jesus); how do I share my heart? How do I love a man whole-heartedly and love my Heavenly Husband with "all my heart, mind, soul and strength"? They responded essentially the same way - 'marriage makes you closer to the Lord'. Well, we'll have been married seven years this month (and more in love now) but being brutally honest here, I feel far more distant now then I did before I married. <br /><br />Hmmm, <strong><em>or is it just different</em></strong>? <br /><br />When I got engaged, I remember writing a new song to the Lord directly responding to the joy and thrill I felt in my heart of being 'spoken for', because I could so more clearly feel that connection between how the the Lord felt about me and I about him because of the physical joy and love I felt towards my Jason. It was and is a wonderful, wonderful experience that I treasure.<br /><br />Now seven years of blissful marriage and four beautiful kids later, instead of going to the piano and playing my heart out to Him in prayer and intimate love and worship and hearing Him sing and speak to me in response, I find my heart screeming prayers for help throughout the day as I try to take deep breaths to calm my nerves and needing His help and wisdom to just get through the day without reacting in anger or impatience to my children. Which to me, sounds just terrible. I hate feeling that way; out of control and angry, but it is there. It's in my heart. It's my struggle. It's not ALL the time, but it is often. <br /><br />So, does this mean that I have lost all the treasures He gave me in my life before I had children? Does it mean I no longer have Him in me, or using me, or ministering through me? Well, I certainly don't think I am producing the fruit that I should be if I were really spending the time in His presence as I should be. I am quite certain that the reason I am struggling with anger and lack of self-control and patience is because my heart is not fully residing within the intimate place of His presence on a daily basis. But, if my heart didn't belong to Him then I don't think it would cry out to Him in those moments when I feel myself slipping. <br /><br />And when I finally get to lay my head down on my pillow at night and close my eyes, my mind and heart wouldn't go directly to the place of "Oh Yahweh, I need You. I NEED You to direct this family, my heart, my mind and our every moment." <br /><br />YES, when I do get a moment and I <em>choose</em> to go to Him in that moment, <em>He's there.</em> He's there just like that big, huge rock in the picture above - holding me in place so I don't end up in a heap of rubble on the shoreline in the middle of my every day. He holds me tight and secure and loves me. <br /><br /><em>He alone is my rock and my salvation; <br />he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:2</em><br /><br />Yahweh does not so easily give up. He does not love me because I am a perfect mother, wife or woman. He does not stop giving, because I have stopped giving. He certainly has every right to, but He chooses to be resplendantly life-giving and unconditionally loving to....me! <br /><br />And you know what? I get to respond. And though I would LOVE to respond by locking myself in a dark room with a grand piano and pour out love song after love song, I respond with a simple 'thank you, My King' and go to sleep... or continue with the next thing on my list, or go change a poopy diaper, or get a hug from my husband (my favorite). <br /><br />The people surrounding my heart in the everyday, present world, are the gifts that the Lord has given me and I get to [try my best] to love them like He has shown me to love - He does it SO well. <br /><br />Be encouraged, be rock-solid secure in the love that Yahweh has for you, and just keep going. That's the word to my own heart today. :) <br /><br /><em>He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he. Deuteronomy 32:4</em><br /><br /><em>There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. 1 Samuel 2:2</em><br /><br /><em>My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— from violent men you save me. 2 Samuel 22:3</em><br /><br />and so many more....<br /><br /><br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-66887823623491886432010-09-25T15:45:00.000-07:002010-09-26T15:45:45.822-07:00Merciful MercySo, I don't know HOW ON EARTH some people can write blog posts when they have little kids. Obviously, I am not one of those peeps! However, I endeavor to try harder to post more often, even if just little rushed tidbits of poor grammar. Be excited. <br /><br />Anyway - the important stuff: <br /><br />Mercy Alisa Ward was born July 22, 2010 about 9:20 in the morning. Weighing in at 8 lbs, 3 ozs and 21 inches long. She is delicious. :) <br /><br />For those of you who like birth stories and want to hear mine - I will give you the nutshell-ish version: I started having contractions the night before around 5:00 pm, which to Jason and I meant nothing really, because my previous children came days after I started contractions. So we were pretty nonchalant about it. <br /><br />The contractions were ten minutes apart and not very long - all night long, though they were getting pretty uncomfortable as the morning came. Around 6:00 am they started to get longer and harder, so we thought maybe baby <em>is</em> coming today. <br /><br />I stayed in bed another hour or so and the contractions began to be about seven minutes apart, sixty seconds long and pretty hard. Around 8:00 am we thought maybe we might want to go in to the hospital after all. So we called our sister to come up to watch the kids and I decided to take a shower - well, goooodness, the contractions just switched in the shower, they were coming one on top of the other, I yelled for Jason, as I was beginning to think I was gonna have the baby in the shower. So we put it in high, crazy, "I don't wanna have the baby at home" gear (not that I am against that by <EM>any</EM> means, but that would mean I wouldn't get to lay in the hospital, have food brought to me on a tray to my bed and little Mercy lay beside me with no interruptions other than, "can I get you anything, Dear?" for about 4 days), got the kids headed to the van when my sister pulled up, so we high-tailed it to town - usually a 25-30 minute drive to the hospital. <br /><br />I have no idea how long it took us, but I am quite certain Jason drove a touch like a maniac. Not the most comfortable trip to town I've ever had that's for sure, contractions were pretty hard at this point, although, when you are hanging on for dear life, the focus is somewhat dispersed. <br /><br />Thankfully, Jason had called ahead and the hospital staff had everything ready. My doctor happened to be in the hospital so they paged her when we arrived. Almost immediately after getting into the hospital bed I felt like pushing. The nurse was telling me to try to wait until the doctor came (oh God) when as the next contraction came, my doctor strolled into the room, I started pushing - three pushes later, here was our girl. <br /><br />We were in the hospital a total of eleven minutes before she came.<br /><br />Holding my sweetie, I said "That's the way to have a baby! Thank You Lord". <A href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T5WNms9I/AAAAAAAAAJE/P18qfY5IUis/s1600/Baby+Mercy+011.JPG"><IMG style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521294281603986386 border=0 alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T5WNms9I/AAAAAAAAAJE/P18qfY5IUis/s320/Baby+Mercy+011.JPG"></A> <A href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T58-yx1I/AAAAAAAAAJM/1GPo2dKMXTc/s1600/Baby+Mercy+013.JPG"><IMG style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521294292010846034 border=0 alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T58-yx1I/AAAAAAAAAJM/1GPo2dKMXTc/s320/Baby+Mercy+013.JPG"></A> <A href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T6Vx0QAI/AAAAAAAAAJU/8fTIQ_z31wI/s1600/Baby+Mercy+022.JPG"><IMG style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521294298667302914 border=0 alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T6Vx0QAI/AAAAAAAAAJU/8fTIQ_z31wI/s320/Baby+Mercy+022.JPG"></A> I think declaring her name all throughout the pregnancy made for a merciful delivery. :) <br /><br />She is sooooo precious and addictive. She smiles now, and she smiles with every fiber in her being, time stands still for that moment and my heart is filled to overflowing with pure joy. <br /><br />What did we ever do without our kids? (besides <EM>sleep</EM>). <br /><br />Thanks to all of you who prayed for us and the delivery! <A href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-kep0IpAI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/M5N3AYtxjJg/s1600/Mercy+007.JPG"><IMG style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521312514707072002 border=0 alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-kep0IpAI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/M5N3AYtxjJg/s320/Mercy+007.JPG"></A> <A href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T62rbnsI/AAAAAAAAAJc/_eP-fkCrqKw/s1600/Baby+Mercy+058.JPG"><IMG style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521294307498892994 border=0 alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/TJ-T62rbnsI/AAAAAAAAAJc/_eP-fkCrqKw/s320/Baby+Mercy+058.JPG"></A> <br /><P><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" align=center src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png"> </P>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-28886980791347856552010-07-20T12:19:00.000-07:002010-07-20T13:18:54.943-07:00Yes, I Am Still AliveStill alive and a baby's kickin'. <br /><br />So much for thinking I was a true-blue Blogger, for I cannot seem to write a blog I feel is 'worthy' of reading but every two months or so. Sorry about that - if you care! :) <br /><br />I thought I would just post this video because I am in my last days of being pregnant, any day NOW... and for those of you who missed it on FB, I thought you would enjoy the sweetness of my Gracie. As well as the size of my pod. :) <br /><OBJECT id=BLOG_video-bfdd4378db5d64b1 class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="bfdd4378db5d64b1"></OBJECT><br /><br />Hope your summer is full of precious memories and goodness. The next blog will have new baby pictures! <br /><br /><P><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" align=center src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png"> </P>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-15407432313033475252010-05-23T18:50:00.000-07:002010-05-23T19:14:12.877-07:00Pregnancy and It's Many WondersPregnancy. What a gift. What a miracle. What an amazing, overwhelming, awe-inspiring privilege. It is truly a fulfillment of my destiny. <br />However, sometimes, in order to fulfill a destiny, a calling, and a dream, one must experience many pains, climb obstacles and discover many discomforts. I would like to take this opportunity to <STRIKE>vent</STRIKE> verbalize some of these challenges. <br /><br />First, there is the wonder and amazement I feel when I find out I'm pregnant, which then leads to the "Oh dear Lord, are you sure this is a good idea?!" - having one, two, or in this case, three other children all five years old and under. As well as feeling the "didn't I just have a baby?" feeling and my body having not quite returned to the pre-baby-machine state.<br /><br />Second, there is the abhorrence of all things healthy and nutritious - in fact, pretty much all food other than french fries, bread or chocolate are quite a disturbing thought. Along with this feeling is of coarse the nausea that is all consuming MOST of the day. This usually lasts about 40-50 days. <br />My family is *overjoyed* at this new found attitude that comes with my nauseated, unhealthy, gagging nature. <br /><br />Third, the emotional roller-coaster that ensues is exactly that. One moment I am fine and dandy, the next moment I am weeping into my ginger and lemon tea, the next moment I am laughing to tears for no apparent reason. *sigh* It can be very exhausting! Here again, the family stare at me in utter perplexity... Jason is now quite familiar with these perplexities that come from his pregnant wife, and usually takes full advantage by telling me his <STRIKE>best</STRIKE> any jokes, because at this point everything is gut wrenching hilarious. I have a LOT of laughing fits when I am pregnant.<br /><br />Fourth, after the loss of around six pounds from the first trimester's nausea, I then commence in packing on carb, sugar, and fat-laden pounds because my will-power at this point is completely... MIA. <br /><br />Fifth, the result then of number four, is the revelation and then fulfillment that I probably am not going to enjoy wearing the terrible, terrible maternity pants that I have worn now for three other pregnancies. My thighs and posterior seem to be growing at a faster and more thorough rate than my uterus. In fact, I now must deal with self-loathing because of my lack of self-control, along with the loathing of my maternity clothing. Why, <em>oh why</em>, are maternity pants so ridiculous: I usually end up mooning my husband when I try to get out of the van because they have slipped so far down, therefore I must hike them up in their proper place when I step out of the vehicle - hoping there are no innocent bystanders beholding this process. But this happens not just when I get out of the van, but when I bend over, when I sit, when I walk... Hike'em up, hike 'em up. I could go on on the subject of maternity wear, but I shall not. <br /><br />Sixth, three words: round ligament pain. I don't know of any other women who complain of this, so perhaps I am just "special", but I have terrible ligament/groin/pelvis pain - this pregnancy is the worst I have experienced. Rolling over in bed takes me at least a minute as I have to do it slowly and figure out how to lift one side up in order for the other side to roll without experiencing further pain...? or something. Getting OUT of bed, ha! well, picture a very old woman with acute hip and back pain struggling to get out of her chair - that's what I look like. The running joke between my husband and I is that "this old grey mare, ain't what she used to be". And just to help you with the picture, my son has dramatically depicted me in the following video. The sad part: it's rather an accurate portrayal. <OBJECT id=BLOG_video-bb25159cb05c5270 class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="bb25159cb05c5270"></OBJECT><br /><br />Seventh, constant blood tests, or as I like to call myself, the human pin-cushion. <br /><br />Eighth, Varicose veins in some of the most inappropriate of places. <br /><br />Ninth, thinking you are thin enough to pass through a certain pathway, only to get lodged between said pathway. <br /><br />Tenth, all my maternity shirts have stains of some kind on the most potruding part of my tummy - said tummy seems to find itself where I least expect it (mixing bowls, counter tops, my plate, my kids' messy faces, etc.). <br /><br />Eleventh, being unable to put any type of clothing on the lower half of my body without having to sit down, hold onto something or deciding to just forget certain article. <br /><br />Twelfth (I actually had to look up the spelling on this - how appropriate), my brain seems to have decided to take a leisurely vacation. I find myself forgetting the most obvious of details, words and jumbling my sentences. And I will add clumsiness to this one, because it seems to be linked to the absence of brain-power. <br /><br />Perhaps, I should stop there. We all have our own stories, aches and pains and some of the people reading this have far worse ones than mine are. <br />Hopefully I have not offended anyone with this blog post, but actually made you smile, if not chuckle, because I really just needed to vent and you being my "girlfriends" at this season of my life get to hear/read it. <br /><br />And surely you know, I would do it (become pregnant) over and over again (oh wait, I have!), for the rewards of pregnancy <em><strong>far</strong></em> outweigh the challenges. Nor do I want to convey that I am taking this privilege for granted in any way. <br /><br />Oh, and just so you know and aren't thinking I am a horrid mother - I do eat healthy, nutritious foods when I am pregnant!! I just don't want to. :)<br /><br />Blessing, hugs, and thanks for reading, <br /><P><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" align=center src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png"> </P>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-21770652672612490202010-03-28T07:41:00.000-07:002010-03-28T17:18:00.908-07:00Tribute To My ManThe Man of My Dreams turned forty this week. He didn't want any big parties. We spent our money on a washer and dryer (greatly needed and appreciated by your's truly)<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_jGm0lj5I/AAAAAAAAAHs/_g0hUJwieEM/s1600/March+%2710+019.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_jGm0lj5I/AAAAAAAAAHs/_g0hUJwieEM/s200/March+%2710+019.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453827376408792978" /></a> and other home improvements (he is trying so hard to get our basement finished) instead of presents. <br /><br />He wanted to do something with his "wifey" for his birthday, instead of 'the guys' *me grinning big*. We were given a night-stay away in a lovely hotel, in a little town, that was much more my style than his (forgot my camera). We had a peacefully blissful time though. <br /><br />He received and loved home-made cards from his little one's <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_hTb8CT0I/AAAAAAAAAHU/hyj9CW1ytC4/s1600/March+%2710+010.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_hTb8CT0I/AAAAAAAAAHU/hyj9CW1ytC4/s320/March+%2710+010.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453825397802291010" /></a>and a goofy one from me -which he laughed at. <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_hmifsRSI/AAAAAAAAAHc/Z7QzvvFqd2k/s1600/March+%2710+014.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_hmifsRSI/AAAAAAAAAHc/Z7QzvvFqd2k/s320/March+%2710+014.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453825725979968802" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_h4riXPHI/AAAAAAAAAHk/Y_nVSdzMa8M/s1600/March+%2710+015.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_h4riXPHI/AAAAAAAAAHk/Y_nVSdzMa8M/s320/March+%2710+015.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453826037644737650" /></a> We even wrote a song for his big day - which I tried and tried to get my kids to sing and make cute video for him - here's one of our 'takes'... he laughed and enjoyed our endeavors anyway. :)<br /><OBJECT id=BLOG_video-e3a503f7695ebdfa class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="e3a503f7695ebdfa"></OBJECT><br /><br /><br />I tried making a <em>spectacular</em> birthday [ice cream] cake - I always end up trying to do spectacular things that usually result in spectacular stress on my part, why do I do this? - but the cake was tasty, even though it sat too long and when we cut into it the ice cream sort of squished out, which resulted in a pile of cake, rather then a piece of cake. *sigh* <br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_jswdpcgI/AAAAAAAAAH0/3ZEnurZiLpI/s1600/March+%2710+001.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_jswdpcgI/AAAAAAAAAH0/3ZEnurZiLpI/s320/March+%2710+001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453828031831962114" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_kHn_PWBI/AAAAAAAAAH8/IYIpCzv7bcY/s1600/March+%2710+003.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_kHn_PWBI/AAAAAAAAAH8/IYIpCzv7bcY/s320/March+%2710+003.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453828493413406738" /></a><br /><br />Forty years is rather monumental isn't it? As the Good Wife, am I not supposed to arrange every little detail to make it a monumental occasion? Well, if so, I failed. But you know, he didn't seem to mind and appreciated every little thing we did do.<br /> <br />Why am I telling you all of this (I know he's gonna wonder, when he reads it)? Well, because I want the world to know <strong>my</strong> Hunny is simply the best...better than all the rest... (sing it with me now). Well, he is better than all the rest where I am concerned. <br /><br />Whatever he does, he does for us; his family. <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_mT39yRyI/AAAAAAAAAIE/35UBD3Pomys/s1600/december+2008+017.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_mT39yRyI/AAAAAAAAAIE/35UBD3Pomys/s200/december+2008+017.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453830902883960610" /></a> He loves us with all his heart and it shows in so many ways - in our children's faces that shine and perk up when they hear the van coming <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_ngGkIF6I/AAAAAAAAAIM/iQzSLBkCbN8/s1600/february09+044.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_ngGkIF6I/AAAAAAAAAIM/iQzSLBkCbN8/s200/february09+044.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453832212472928162" /></a>home from work each day, the crawling all over him when they play on the floor with their Papa and the laughing and giggling that ensues whenever he's around. <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_oVdjxlSI/AAAAAAAAAIU/TS_3nDR3Rt0/s1600/april+012.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_oVdjxlSI/AAAAAAAAAIU/TS_3nDR3Rt0/s200/april+012.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453833129178535202" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_otfm84FI/AAAAAAAAAIc/jZgtgZJ9TvY/s1600/Wards+in+Cove+9-09+2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 205px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_otfm84FI/AAAAAAAAAIc/jZgtgZJ9TvY/s320/Wards+in+Cove+9-09+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453833542045589586" /></a><br />It shows in the tender way he loves me, honors me and appreciates me; I feel secure, loved, pretty and favored. <br /><br />It shows in the devoted way he cares for his parents<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_r2IDaHQI/AAAAAAAAAIk/iP9zyxIclKs/s1600/P1020011.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_r2IDaHQI/AAAAAAAAAIk/iP9zyxIclKs/s320/P1020011.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453836988876201218" /></a> and siblings - longing to do more for them, but not always able to do all he'd like to do. <br /><br />It shows in the way he asks the Father for direction in the decision he needs to make. <br /><br />It shows in the way he works so strenuously to "bring home the [turkey] bacon" (since we don't eat pork) and provide for all our needs plus, plus, plus so many 'perks'.<br /><br />I love how he is such a manly-man, yet has the tenderest of heart's that brims with mercy so often... with the exception of his hockey team doing poorly... then we "take cover"!! <br /><br />Without getting too sappy and sounding like a Shania Twain song (it's too late, I know), Hunny - I love every moment I have with you and I look forward to the forty years + that we get to be together. You truly are the Man of My Dreams. Thank You Lord for such a gift.<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_undqKN0I/AAAAAAAAAIs/gCJ7GMBgwEA/s1600/March+%2710+006.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S6_undqKN0I/AAAAAAAAAIs/gCJ7GMBgwEA/s320/March+%2710+006.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453840035512727362" /></a><br /> <BR><br /><P><BR><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" align=center src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png"><BR></P><BR>Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-38664524087031675682010-03-12T17:04:00.000-08:002010-03-12T17:00:39.097-08:00Lonely Hearted MeI don't know if I was born shy, but I certainly developed into that stereotype. As a child I remember clinging to my parents legs whenever we went to a social function.<br /><a href="http://www.123rf.com/photo_2128518.html"><img src="http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/cryssfotos/cryssfotos0711/cryssfotos071100309/2128518.jpg" border="0" alt="Little girl alone, afraid, hiding, feeling sad photo"></a> <br />I remember trying to come up with any kind of excuse that would keep me in the truck as long as possible when we arrived at family reunions (oooh those were the worst, for some reason!). <br /><br />I recall that terrifying feeling of having to be on a 'team' game of any kind - because that would mean my team was watching me perform and I was always self-conscious about everything so I would always do badly. <br /><br />I remember hoping people would do the talking for me, so I wouldn't have to. I would hold back tears whenever I was put on the spot in front of people - just to answer a simple question - because I was so embarrassed to speak. <br /><br />Still to this day, I feel my face fill with heat when I am put on the spot, am posed a question or tell a story - with everyone, not just strangers. <br /><br />The inner-turmoil of an intimidated person is very frustrating. You feel like such a loser - you have no confidence in yourself, therefore you feel as though whatever you say will be the wrong thing and fear whatever you do will be seen as insignificant or wrong. <br /><br />Then, as you get older, shyness is portrayed to most people as being "stuck-up" or haughty. Which is actually as far from the truth as you could get! <br /><br />Being [this] shy is such a lonely place.<br /><br />I am sure that homeschooling didn't help this predicament of mine, but in a lot of ways, it was my salvation. Yes, my social skills were completely lacking, I couldn't start a conversation with a stranger to save my life! (Still terrible at it!) But I am certain, had I gone to public school, I would have been the 'follower', the kid that changes into whatever person they need to be in order to receive the affirmation and acceptance of their peers. And boy, that is a scary thought. <br /><br />Instead, my loneliness's and intimidation's led me to a very close relationship with my parents and a friendship/relationship with Yahshua (Jesus). I remember being around 15 or 16 years old, laying face down on my floor in my bedroom, crying out to the Lord to be my friend. I told Him He could have my hurting, lonely heart and cried out for Him to replace this overwhelming sorrow that made me feel so inadequate, stupid and unwanted. <br /><br />When I got up off that floor, I felt different. I felt loved and I had an assuring peace, that it didn't really matter if I had any friends or not, <strong>I had Him</strong>. He was constant, He was true and He <em>wanted</em> me more than any other human being. <br /><br />There really isn't any experience that I would exchange in lieu of that experience. I can say with all confidence that I am thankful for the lonely years of my childhood. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with my parents because of those years. They are the golden string that I held onto and which led me along in my path of life, along with my Friend - that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)<br /><br />With every heart-aching experience I had throughout my life; the rejection of people, guy's I liked, leaders who let me down, friends and family, etc., I always knew Who to go to. A friend of mine once said, "with Stephenie, all roads lead to Jesus". I love that. I want that to be my legacy. I want to <em>live</em> that way. <br /><br />I laugh now at the thought of being physically lonely - for, as a wife and mother every moment is completely surrounded. In fact, I would like to use the bathroom without another little body in there with me sometimes!<br /><br />But still, my heart aches for those girl-friend, kindred-spirit's that I am grateful I had in my single days. I still have those dear one's, but they are many thousands of miles away. I have a kindred spirit in my husband for which I am overwhelmingly thankful. But there is just something about that female "bosom-friend" that is unmatched. <br />There is a loneliness for the times of worship with people who love Yahweh as well.<br /><br />So even in adulthood, surrounded by the sweetness of family and love, a heart can still be lonely for something or someone. Yet, I have an assurance that will never crumble and that is in the depths of my 'knower'; I have a Friend and He is able to fill the lonely places of my heart and life. <br /><br /><strong><em>"To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of JOY for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness." Isaiah 61:3</em></strong><br /><br />If He can do it for me, he can do it for anyone. <br /><br />Now, to unplug the intimidation stuff... but that is another post.<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-57289336539320083402010-03-04T09:07:00.000-08:002010-03-04T20:45:06.398-08:00And Ode to Spring, An "O Dear" to Winter.Let the celebration begin - for it is March, which is almost Spring, which is such a warm & fuzzy, beautiful, welcome, comforting thought. <br /><br />In the mornings, when I poke my head out of the french doors in our kitchen, I can<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AJA62ef0I/AAAAAAAAAF0/CZ1IL_ftM60/s1600-h/4354620010_bb56ef9f23_t.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 67px; height: 100px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AJA62ef0I/AAAAAAAAAF0/CZ1IL_ftM60/s320/4354620010_bb56ef9f23_t.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444861860893327170" /></a> hear birds singing that lovely morning melody of dawn. Birds that I haven't heard all winter are starting to return and thank the Lord for the coming of Spring.<br /><br />It smells different too - must be the scent of dormant life waking up from it's winter's snooze. It smells fresh and earthy, different from the wet scent of frosty, old snow. <br /><br />Perhaps that is why I have such an acute fondness for birds! They get to go south for the winter! My "inner-bird" seems to shut-down and daydream of sweet summer days and the thankful-song that resides in my soul gets plugged up with... snow. <br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5ATJyyphhI/AAAAAAAAAGc/r6H4yxAGQ04/s1600-h/3104557931_c34cd22253.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 216px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5ATJyyphhI/AAAAAAAAAGc/r6H4yxAGQ04/s320/3104557931_c34cd22253.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444873008464889362" /></a>Instead, my "inner-bear" begins foraging and baking and eating cinnamon rolls, cookies and whatever else is around the house in preparation for the hibernation season. Oh lovely, winter weight gain. uugh. <br /><br />There is something to be said about being thankful in all seasons, isn't there? I mean, if all I did was moan about the woeful days of wintry darkness, I would certainly be such a crank to be around... all. winter. long. <br /><br />Hmm... come to think of it, I don't recollect having anything good to say about winter this year. My husband and I were both commiserating about how we don't enjoy winter like we used to. We say this as we begin the 28 minute, multiple coat, boot, thermal layering process of our children, just so we can drive a 1/4 mile down the road for a visit with the folks.<br /><br />I am not a fan of being cold. I do not find happiness in my extremities feeling as though they might fall off if I stay outside in this frigid cold a second longer than necessary. <br /><br />Our road is less than lovely for travelling in the winter and we don't have four-wheel drive, so several times throughout the winter we park the van, all pile out and walk up our<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AXv8QwnCI/AAAAAAAAAGs/vy70xoYHsoc/s1600-h/1_9_08.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AXv8QwnCI/AAAAAAAAAGs/vy70xoYHsoc/s200/1_9_08.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444878061888642082" /></a> hill; Jason and I trying to keep the kids from sliding on the ice which would induce further winter-trauma. <br /><br />Then there's the Cabin Fever. Stuck. Stuck in the house. Snowy-isolation breeds insanity, I say. We should have installed a room with padded walls for the kids to bounce themselves off of in these wintry-stuck-times, because I'm not sure how much longer the house will handle the abuse.<br /><br />Stuck - so I can commiserate with myself about how I don't. like. winter. And how it's always cloudy... and how I haven't seen the sun for 357 hours...<br /><br />Yep, I was a cranky, cranky winter girl.<br /><br />Yep, I missed the mark. I missed the rejoicing in all things-bit, or blessing the Lord oh my SOUL-bit. I chose not to see the beauty in all the things God has given. Of being thankful in EVERYTHING. <br /><br />Sure, I had my little moments of "*humph* the snow-covered-everything is kinda pretty". Once, I enjoyed watching the snow fall and that deep peace that comes with it - when it feels like the entire world is silent and calm. Yes, I had my moments, but not deep inside where the stuff that comes out of my soul was, well, pleasant. <br /><br />*deep, sorry, sigh* <br /><br />Do I think the Lord is mad at me for missing this mark? No, but I do think He is disappointed by my lack of praise and gratefulness. Sad with my not grasping His promises that say I can have abundant life, joy in all things and the power to overcome my own thoughts and irksome will. <br /><br />From where I sit and write this post, I can look out the window and see the mountains with their greyish frosty tops and the snow that is still lingering under the trees on the hills and the sky that is full of clouds and the day that is grey and weary. <br />Well, that's one way of looking at it anyway... let's try again. <br />I look out the window... <br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AKreojEMI/AAAAAAAAAF8/IShI6dDBaXU/s1600-h/March+%2710+011.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S5AKreojEMI/AAAAAAAAAF8/IShI6dDBaXU/s320/March+%2710+011.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444863691564716226" /></a>I see a big, strong evergreen tree, too tall to see the top. It stands erect and beautiful in every season, with every drop of rain, flake of snow, torrent of wind or beating sun. It is a safe place for birds to rest, squirrels to frolic and the occasional bear to climb. Sometimes it drops an old branch or two, a few old needles and pine cones - shedding the old to make way for the new. And it's always pointing up, arms outstretched to receive what comes and arms outstretched as though thankful and praising it's creator. <br /><br />I <em>think</em> I have a few things to learn yet (ha!), a few more ways to be thankful and a whole lot more praising from my soul to do. <br /><br />But, goodness, am I glad Spring is coming. <br /><br /><em>Thou sendest forth Thy spirit, they are created; and Thou renewest the face of the earth</em><br /><br /><em>May the glory of the LORD endure for ever; let the LORD rejoice in His works! <br /><br />Who looketh on the earth, and it trembleth; He toucheth the mountains, and they smoke.<br /><br />I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have any being.<br /><br /><strong>Let my musing be sweet unto Him; as for me, I will rejoice in the LORD</strong>.</em><br />Psalm 104:30-34 <br /><br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-38164824171962477192010-02-24T21:15:00.000-08:002010-02-24T21:30:47.230-08:00Honest and RealSometimes, I have to scream. <br /><br />This has been a hard week for me. Just me personally. Nothing major is going on, or wrong, I am just tired, cranky, easily angered, feeling fat and just plain worn out. The kids all had bad colds this week, so we've been stuck in the house with lots of snot, crankiness and little healthful sleep. (I think every load of laundry has had tissues covering everything).<br /><br />These are the days when I struggle with thoughts like: <em>I am clearly not cut-out to be a mom... I don't know if I can do this again tomorrow... we're having another baby?!!... what am I gonna do then?... </em><br /><br />In fact, I have had a few breakdown-bawling spells - which I realize has something to do with the whole hormonal imbalance of pregnancy and the whole worn out and exhausted thing. But, honestly. <br /><br />Thankfully, my husband is so understanding and says I'm doing a good job, as he holds me tenderly whilst I soak his strong shoulder in a thick layer of tears, mascara and snot... *sigh*<br /><br />I think of my mom a lot when I have these 'breakdowns'. She had to deal with the four of us kids in a little tiny trailer, in the middle of nowhere, without family or support of any kind, while my dad worked all the time trying to build our house and start his business. She made most (all?) of our clothes, the washer and dryer were in an out-building and they slept on the hide-a-bed in the living room every night. I think of this and I shake my head, wondering how she didn't go all loony, as I feel I am going to do on some days. <br /><br />There are several of you, my friends, who have more kids than I do, and I don't hear you complain. How do you do it? How do you deal with the whining and the tears and the fighting and the messes and the lack of sleep and the lack of time to yourself and the demands, and the constant cooking and cleaning and, and, and.... <br /><br />How did the pioneer women do it? How did my grandmothers do it? Making everything from scratch, there were no drive-thru's, no proper health care, no dishwashers, no videos to stick their kids in front of for that much needed break... So what is my problem? <br /><br />I think of that Scripture that I always thought I was pretty good at: <br /><br /><em>3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, <strong>the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit</strong>, which is of great worth in God’s sight. –1 Peter 3:3-4</em><br /><br />A 'gentle and quiet spirit'. I've always had one of those, at least, I thought I did. Now, well, I feel the words grumpy and cranky, might be more appropriate. Which must look pretty frumpy and ugly to the One who sees my Inner Self. <br /><br />I need to enroll myself into the Holy Spirit's Inner Self Make-Over Program. <br /><br />Then, even as I write this, my little boy comes to give me his goodnight kiss, which<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S4YK41HddeI/AAAAAAAAAE0/jzody7yo7oE/s1600-h/February+%2710+012.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S4YK41HddeI/AAAAAAAAAE0/jzody7yo7oE/s200/February+%2710+012.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442049171171145186" /></a> is a kiss on my cheek that he holds there for a good fifteen seconds as we both giggle. *melt, melt*<br /><br />Those little people. So frustrating and so wonderful. So delicate and so resilient. So tender, so fragile, so aware of what's going on around them... They have a huge tank that needs filled daily with my love, acceptance and encouragement. God help me do this and do it well. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2803.htm">The Words</a> I'm asking to wash me and help me. <br /><br />I do know - this too shall pass. I know I have a Redeemer and He is ever near. I know tomorrow is fresh with new mercy to receive, goodness to partake of and grace to grasp onto. I know He will help me and protect our family in His great, kind, true love. I know He sees it all, and cares for every little bit... and oh I feel a bawling-spell coming on... ;)<br /><br />Goodnight all, <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-34075969993156181302010-02-18T15:07:00.000-08:002010-02-18T17:03:23.159-08:00Laughter Is The Best ProzacIf any of you know me very well, or have ever lived with me, you know I can be rather serious, melancholy and down right moody at times. In fact, all my life I have struggled with that stupid self-pity demon, which <em>always</em> makes one see the glass as half empty. <br /><br />Being Melancholy isn't a bad thing, it's usually the personality trait of some of the most talented musicians and artists, but it can be suffocating at times. Feeling like you can't get out of the "pit of despair" as Anne (of Green Gables) would put it. <br /><br />Consequently, the Father ever so strategically, placed people in my life, from the <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33gsy3902I/AAAAAAAAACw/qlQzPYSkVbI/s1600-h/Fathers+Day+06+001%5B1%5D.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33gsy3902I/AAAAAAAAACw/qlQzPYSkVbI/s200/Fathers+Day+06+001%5B1%5D.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439750985108804450" /></a>beginning, who had a great sense of humor. My father being the first. That man can wake up happy - singing songs even! Without a cup of coffee first, or a shower! The horror! I remember many a Saturday waking up to the smell of french toast cooking and the sound of my Papa singing some variation of an old song he knows - and usually, ahem... with great zeal. <br />Now, one has to be in a pretty darn sober mood to not crack a smile at that. He is such a jovial man. But, please Pop, no tickling, and don't ask any questions, until I have woken up a bit (like I ever said it that nicely). <br /><br />My brothers also played a large part in the 'people who made me laugh' group as well. Oh the stories... <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33VgnQ0dyI/AAAAAAAAACI/bREszFDw-IQ/s1600-h/goofy.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33VgnQ0dyI/AAAAAAAAACI/bREszFDw-IQ/s200/goofy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439738681205487394" /></a> <br /><br />Mom? well, she and I are rather equal in jovial-ness, especially in the mornings. Together, we have a lovely time, and can just BE. <br /><br />Throughout life after 'home' there were friends who made me laugh, of coarse. Being an introvert, I am always drawn to the extroverts - who amaze and befuddle me - and make me laugh. <br /><br />Then I married. Had I realized the power of laughter and that I needed a man who <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33aOBIGYGI/AAAAAAAAACY/dysZTuw9kFc/s1600-h/december2008+008.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33aOBIGYGI/AAAAAAAAACY/dysZTuw9kFc/s200/december2008+008.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439743859288858722" /></a>could make me laugh, I would have had that on the top of my "What I Want in a Mate" list. But God knew. BOY, did he know. I remember asking the Lord for a man who could <em>understand</em> me, 'cause I thought <em>that</em> would be quite a challenge for anyone. But my husband seems to go right through the "understanding me" issue and goes right to the heart of the matter, having the ability (most of the time, mind<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33VN0S41NI/AAAAAAAAACA/I4fvBltVSxs/s1600-h/cute1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 130px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33VN0S41NI/AAAAAAAAACA/I4fvBltVSxs/s200/cute1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439738358286308562" /></a> you) to make me laugh - at myself! What in the world? I didn't know I was sooo funny... er.. make that my melancholy-moods are rather ridiculous and hilarious when one sees herself behaving like such a silly. For the love of Sam, lighten up - that's me talking to myself. <br /><br />When self-pity comes knocking at my door, and ringing the door bell, and rapping on the windows... errgh, I just have to open the door and laugh in it's face. "Get lost. Yes, I feel under-appreciated sometimes and I'd like to GET OUT and go shopping once in a while...by myself, but goodness, I don't want you hanging around reminding me of such fribble!". <br /><br />Knock, knock, who's there? pity. pity-who? Exactly. <br /><br />I am <em>so</em> thankful for the laughter my darling husband, my family and friends bring. I have lots of loosening up to do yet. Sometimes, I just have to dance like an idiot in front of my kids to lighten myself up and make them laugh... soon I'm rolling on the floor laughing too.... and what was I so down about anyway? huh, I don't [want] to recall. <br /><br />Just laugh. It feels good. <br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33WDNBu7BI/AAAAAAAAACQ/kvallpnvdBQ/s1600-h/laugh.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 199px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33WDNBu7BI/AAAAAAAAACQ/kvallpnvdBQ/s200/laugh.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439739275458309138" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33efXBg-ZI/AAAAAAAAACg/UU9i0tfZ67Q/s1600-h/P1020071.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S33efXBg-ZI/AAAAAAAAACg/UU9i0tfZ67Q/s200/P1020071.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439748555271109010" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-32864181556728402172010-02-14T22:10:00.000-08:002010-02-15T15:33:44.758-08:00Thankful For The MundaneI have been struggling with writing a new blog post this week because of the heaviness in my heart for the people I know or am hearing about who have so many deep and difficult issues in their lives right now. Why should I write about the silly mundane things of <em>my</em> life when so many good people are trying to cope with trials and hardships I can't even imagine having to deal with myself?<br /><br />As I sat thinking about that, I realized that part of my calling as one who belongs to the Creator is not only praying for those who are hurting, but also to "forget not all His benefits" (Psalm 103), to bless the Lord with all my <em>soul</em>. Therefore, the 'silly mundane things of my life' I ought to treasure, even celebrate, and remember how good I have it on behalf of those who are struggling (does that make sense?) For instance - <br /><br />I get to wake up in the morning without the dreaded fear of a doctor's call telling me the malignant or benign test results. <br /><br />I get to meet the daily, hourly, minute by minute needs of my children - whom I got to carry full-term and give birth to without any complications or birth defects. <br /><br />I have a loving, adoring husband AND he has a stable job which financially carries us through, so that I can stay home with our children.<br /><br />I don't have to go to the doctor on a weekly basis for chemotherapy or injections to fight a disease. <br /><br />My parents are both living and our relationship is better than I could ask for, and not only that, but my in-laws and I have a great relationship as well. <br /><br />I get to comfort my daughter throughout the night who is fighting a bad cold knowing that it is only a cold, and not a life-threatening illness. <br /><br />I have a house I get to clean and meals to prepare, rather then wondering where my family and I will sleep for the night or if I will be able to feed them enough. <br /><br /><br />I think you get the idea. There are sooo many things, people, experiences, moments, and duties to appreciate and be thankful for. <br /><br />Yahweh help me (and all of us) to not forget, to not take it for granted and please help and comfort all those hurting ones who are struggling to lift their heads and carry the load they carry right now. <br /><br />Love notes:<br /><br /><em>My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.</em><br />Psalms 119:50 <br /><br /><em>Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.</em><br />Jeremiah 31:13 <br /><br /><em>Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.</em><br />2 Corinthians 1:4 <br /><br /><em>I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.</em><br />Psalms 4:8<br /><em><br />The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.</em><br />Psalms 29:11 <br /><br /><em>You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.</em><br />Isaiah 26:3 <br /><br /><em>But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings.</em><br />Malachi 4:2 <br /><br /><em>He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.</em><br />Psalms 147:3<br /><br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-43123966314888488632010-02-11T21:45:00.000-08:002010-02-18T21:34:50.968-08:00Girls!I had my ultrasound yesterday. Jason had to entertain the kiddo's, so it was just me. It was all so familiar - the ultrasound experience (with Grace I ended up getting something like 17 of them), but every time it is one of the most wonderful experiences of my heart. Especially at this early stage - seeing that tiny little pea in my pod.<br /><br />I always leave shaking my head wondering how ANY parent could have Atheistic beliefs. I mean that tiny little person is only about five inches long and has a beating heart and fingers and organs and gender parts, and, and... it's growing INSIDE my body! Good Night Nurse! Mind-boggling. And let's not even begin talking about abortion... no, can't go there. <br /><br /><em> Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; <br />you knit me together in my mother's womb. <br />I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; <br />your works are wonderful, I know that full well.</em><br /><br />Anyway, back to the point... my cute little sonographer let me see what gender the baby is. (They're not supposed to do that in BC - at least where I am living anyway). Pretty clear there were no boy parts. :) <br /><br />Stunned. That's really the best word for how I feel. As well as absolutely thrilled. <br /><br />Getting to be a mom of three girls and one adorable boy too! But THREE girls?! I walked away stifling giggles and giggle every time I think of it - me with three daughters. Just think of the shopping! The tea parties! The hair I'll be fixing! The emotions! The drama... And oh Father, the responsibility to raise them to have confidence, femininity, purity, respect, giving-hearts....... oh boy. I realize I am saying "I" a lot here - there is a wonderful, amazing husband doing this with me, but somehow me being the female, makes it all the more... sobering. <br /><br />THANKFULLY, I get to depend on the Creator and His Spirit and His wisdom, protection, discernment and love. As well as call my mom frequently and ask her how she dealt with me. <br />Three girls. <br />I am not alone and by GOD, I can do this. :)<br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-21131050832550344362010-02-08T18:25:00.000-08:002010-02-18T21:34:28.705-08:00My HopeThought I would tell you about my daughter Hope. <br /><br />Jason and I and our baby boy Justice had been living with my in-laws for about ten months, when I was crying out to the Lord - oh WHEN are we going to have our own place? When would I be able to have a home of my own and fulfill these dreams in my heart? I heard the Lord say, that I was pregnant with 'Hope' (and I saw myself about eight or nine months pregnant).<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C8yuYctRI/AAAAAAAAABo/xYABwKlxn-M/s1600-h/Oct11.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 101px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C8yuYctRI/AAAAAAAAABo/xYABwKlxn-M/s200/Oct11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436052329866245394" /></a> At the time I thought He meant that my hopes would be fulfilled and given birth soon. We ended up being able to move into our house fairly soon after that and I also found out that I was pregnant. <br /><br />We didn't know what gender we were getting until she was born - and even then I couldn't believe I got a girl! I thought surely we were going to have boys. I have three older brothers, and my oldest brother has five boys, and well, I must have<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C9yybIAZI/AAAAAAAAABw/Vi1l8hFTr6I/s1600-h/newHope.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C9yybIAZI/AAAAAAAAABw/Vi1l8hFTr6I/s200/newHope.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436053430462841234" /></a> been preparing my soul early on in life that I might not get a girl. But here she was in my arms, and all mine. And we named her HOPE. :) Isn't Yahweh funny?!<br /><br />When I'm pregnant I always ask the Lord for a word or song or something for my kids and with Hope He just said, He was crazy about this one! She is loved by everyone who meets her. She is the most affectionate child I have ever beheld, her love-language is most certainly "touch". She is also very perceptive - <br /><br />I have ALWAYS hated my ears. When I've looked in the mirror I always saw thick, sticking-out ears. (This is me at nine months... and my ears) <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3CzcgP49eI/AAAAAAAAABg/Y90jvUObbPU/s1600-h/stephbaby.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 136px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3CzcgP49eI/AAAAAAAAABg/Y90jvUObbPU/s200/stephbaby.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436042052510479842" /></a> I had never told Hope any of this of coarse. One night, several months ago, as Hope and I were commencing with our bed-time ritual of me laying beside her in her bed and her smothering me with kisses and hugs and "petting me" as she calls it: rubbing my arms or face, she grabbed my ear with her little hand and said, "oh, I need to hug your ears!" then she had to move my head over and do the same with the other ear and each ear got a kiss. "I love your ears momma... Their beautiful." <br /><br />Oh dear. Oh my. Oh... Father. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so both came out. All these years of ear-loathing and self ear-mocking! Wow, God gave me those ears and just like Hope, He thinks their beautiful (so do my parents). I suddenly realized that I had been despising something He gave me and He created and, as silly as it sounds, must need love too. heh heh. <br /><br />So, one little story (long though, sorry) among many about my Hope who will probably<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C-ezeNs9I/AAAAAAAAAB4/mpe-CBaulD4/s1600-h/December+09+011.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h8ShvvnbSYo/S3C-ezeNs9I/AAAAAAAAAB4/mpe-CBaulD4/s320/December+09+011.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436054186658477010" /></a> always be a giver of His HOPE wherever she goes. What a treasure. <br /><br />So, don't forget to love yourself, 'cause I think it hurts His heart when we don't, you are His creation after all, every little bit of you. <br /><br />Love,<br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658307064279003015.post-51933751428266984092010-02-06T16:06:00.000-08:002010-02-15T15:30:58.993-08:00Smart, Good-Looking AND Completely Inadequate.Well, here I am. Posting my very first blog post. Hope you don't fall asleep as you read.<br /><br />For as long as I can remember I have thought that I was rather dumb and of little value (even though my parents were extremely loving and encouraging and remain so today). Could have had <em>something</em> to do with the fact that I homeschooled; I taught myself via video's that I would fast forward or just do the subjects I liked, then go outside with my dog for long walks in the hills. Indeed, it was a very <em>prestigious</em> education. <br /><br />I felt very fortunate to have passed the GED test in my Junior year. Then I headed to Bible College - and I passed those classes <em>(gasp)</em> - I prayed very fervantly before every test and paper, and I totally believed that the Lord helped me and He was the one who passed me. <br /> <br />Although I still believe He helped me, as I have matured a bit, developed a tad, and became a wife and mother, I have come to realize that quite possibly, I might actually, maybe, perhaps, potentially, incidentally have some God-given intellect! <br /><br />Do you know? - I can breastfeed a baby, sing a lullaby, wipe a nose, plan dinner, write an email, look 'adorable' and explain to my daughter why she probably shouldn't eat that raisen-looking piece of fruit she found under the couch, ALL at the same time! Clearly it must take intellect, multiple digit and limb coordination, right and left brain synergy and good looks (my husband thinks I am adorable) to be able to be a wife and mother. <br /><br />Being married to a man who loves me and has proven over and over again that he loves me in spite of my actions, over-emotional being, clumsiness, not to mention my daily <em>lack</em> of beauty-queen status has been a humbling and a beautiful gift from Yahweh (God) as well as a revelation of my worth. <br /><br />Caring for little people on a 24-hour basis also establishes a sense of value - for one cannot have a baby and not feel needed in every capacity. But not only that, it's the love and affection of a my child that makes me melt into a puddle of humility considering that I can often hourly feel inadequate, have failed them in some way or another and entirely unable to fulfill the demands, yet their love of me is constant. Even overwhelmingly so - if you knew my daughter Hope, you would know what I mean.<br /><br />But if you take all of that away - my husband, children, accomplishments, etc. - am I still of value and worth? I believe I am. (Hopefully I am not tested in that capacity!) The standard the world uses to measure a person's value is completely and utterly opposite to God's standard. He made me, I have worth. Period. It's my responsibility to give my life back to Him and be faithful and take part in His character so the value I have increases in measure by the amount of fruit I produce. Right? That's how I see it anyway. <br /><br />We are each one valuable, worthy of love, and unconditionally loved, if not always by your family, there <strong>is</strong> always a Greater Love that surpasses all earthy love anyway. <br /><br />I mess up (a lot), I ask for forgiveness and I receive love. I hope I will do better tomorrow. *what am I going to make for dinner?*<br /><br /><p><br /><img style="border:0;" align="center" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/79/1E86D5A38335AF42FAEBEDB6EAFF04E7.png" /><br /></p><br />Stepheniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15965087748101658994noreply@blogger.com1